Day Two.

Last April Showers, I spoke about the third film of Dario Argento's “animal trilogy”, Four Flies On Grey Velvet. This time around, I'm sounding off on another Italian giallo starring Mimsy Farmer.

A scientist (Mimsy Farmer) begins having strange visions from her past involving the death of her mother.

The Perfume of the Lady in Black is a giallo made by a lesser known Italian director named Francesco Barilli, but he is no less a craftsman than the big guns. Visually, Perfume is a stunning powerhouse and one of those films where every frame is a work of art.

This painting below kept on showing up and all I could think was, WANT!

Between that, The Screaming Mimi painting from The Bird With The Crystal Plumage and all the other artworks that have shown up in my twenty-plus years of watching gialli, I think I'd need a lot of wall space if I were to try and collect them all. Perfume is also helped by a moody score to back up its visuals, as well.

Unfortunately, I didn't find the story as engaging as I usually do. It was certainly not the fault of Mimsy Farmer, as she was as striking as ever, playing her role with abandon. Much like Edwige Fenech, Farmer never shied away from anything. No, my disconnection had to do with there being a lack of mystery for most of the film. It did take a side tangent in the third act that may have been a nod to Roman Polanski's Repulsion, but it still inevitably came around to where I was expecting. That's a real bummer because one of the things I find gialli usually deliver on is an unexpected finish. Even if it is completely ridiculous, I can at least say ‘whoa, didn’t see THAT coming!’ I didn't get that here.

There was a lot of meandering, with Farmer hanging out with friends she should have kicked to the curb long before and awkward sex scenes with her jerk boyfriend that looked more like they were wrestling under the covers, than making love. That's not to say there isn't extraneous stuff in some of my favourite titles, but Argento and Bava's back alleys are just more interesting to me. I thought the parts where Farmer was alone and hallucinating were the best stuff of Perfume. There were a few flashbacks in particular that reminded me of The Shining. I wonder if Stanley Kubrick was a fan of this film.

The Perfume of the Lady in Black was beautiful to look at for many reasons, Farmer not the least of which, but I don't consider it one of the more memorable of the genre.

April Showers II: Day One

Welcome to the second edition of April Showers! After bonding over our mutual appreciation for the 1988 Canadian flick The Brain, I've been trading discs with a dude down in Massachusetts over the last few months. April Showers' first entry is one of said titles sent through the mail.

A group of troubled youths on a camping trip are set upon by insects mutated by a strain of steroids used in a nearby marijuana grow op.

Ticks was a movie we had at my store that I just never got around to watching. If I'd known back then that Brian Yuzna was involved, I probably would have got to it a lot sooner. His nineties track record speaks for itself and Ticks is no exception because it is a pretty fun flick. There are tons of familiar faces in this and afterwards, I was a bit puzzled about the billing. Pretty much the only thing I remembered about this movie was that Ami Dolenz was in it, but she's one of the least consequential members of a large ensemble, which I should add, was the strangest motley crew of delinquents I'd seen since Friday the 13th Part 5. While it is true Dolenz made a splash around that time as the title character in She's Out Of Control, I would have thought that Seth Green or Alfonso Ribeiro would've had more credit, considering their time onscreen. Then again, when it comes to selling a movie, who are you going to put on the coverbox, but the hottest girl in it? It worked for Witchboard II.

I wonder if Ticks was a response to Arachnophobia, as there are definite similarities, except it was less family-friendly, with an emphasis on gore. Speaking of which, the effects were quite solid and though the smaller creatures were cheesy at times, the big bad at the climax was pretty badass. I should also mention that Ticks gives you not just one Howard, but TWO, as low-budget horror mainstay Clint appears with his father, Rance.

So, all in all, Ticks was watchable fare. I don't think it's quirky enough to be as memorable as some of the like minded Full Moon stuff of that era, but it was still better than I was expecting from a direct-to-video title called Ticks.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go buy a case of Raid.

Don't Kill The Messenger 98

Allrighty, I'm all set up in the new place, so let's see what happened while I was gone.

Well, That Just Happened.

Here's something that popped up on Twitch this week. Can Evrenol's bizarre little short To My Mother and Father played Fantastic Fest last year, and is now online for all to see. Let's hope none of it brings back any memories of your childhood.

Evrenol also recently entered a short entitled Daddy Cross into the Hobo With A Shotgun grindhouse trailer contest. You can view it - and the other Top 5 finishers - by clicking here.

I'm Not Sure Mattel Would Approve.

My brother sent me a link to photo series that was featured on wildammo.com a few months ago. We all know Barbie as a wholesome icon of womanhood, but what if there was something rotten under her exterior. What if Barbie was a brutal serial killer, just waiting to perform sick of depravity behind the closed doors of her bright pink camper. Here's a peek of this alternate reality realized by Eric S.

For the rest of the photos, click here.

Little Deaths.

I just wanted to say that I LOVE this poster!

What a perfect title for a sexually-charged horror anthology! Little Deaths just played SXSW, so hopefully it comes to my neck of the woods sometime this year.

So, that's it for now, but stay tuned, as I'm going to be doing another edition of April Showers starting tomorrow.

Best 50 Rebuttal.

This Monday over at Twitch, new correspondent Scott Weinberg (of Cinematical fame) put forth a list of the 50 Best Horror Films and I couldn’t resist the urge to chime in on it. My thoughts were too many to be left in the post's comment section, and to rebut with a full ranked list of my own would be too cumbersome an undertaking right now.

So, what I figured I’d do was break down his list in tens, like it was featured on the site. Now, let me preface my comments by saying that for the most part I agree with Weinberg’s choices. Just by seeing obscure gems like Isolation, Splinter and Sauna on there, it is clear that he knows his stuff. However, there are also some glaring omissions as well as some titles I’ve always felt were a little overrated, but I’ll get to those as they come up.

Also, I was pretty chuffed to find that out of the fifty-three films listed below, I’ve seen fifty-one of them. Click on the movie titles to read my original reviews, where applicable. You can also see my “Bloody Best of the 00's” post from 2009 by clicking here. To see Scott Weinberg's original Twitch post, click here.

The Top 50 Horror Films, 2000 to 2009

Countdown: 50 - 41

50. All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006): I’ve always had a soft spot for this colourful slasher, so glad to see it squeaked on here.

49. The Devil's Chair (2007): Even though I like this movie more than most do, I think there are better, more even films in Mason & Boyes catalogue. However, having said that, I don’t think they would have made my list.

48. The Broken (2008)

47. Dark Water (2005): At first I thought he meant the Japanese original, but on further inspection, I see he means the remake. This would be the title I would most contest on his list. Weinberg saying this film is “never boring” is just dead wrong.

46. Splinter (2008)

45. Hatchet (2006)

44. The Others (2001)

43. The Brotherhood of the Wolf (2001)

42. Cloverfield (2008)

41. Isolation (2005)

I can’t comment on The Broken as I never saw it, but everything else here is solid.

Countdown: 40 - 31

40. 30 Days of Night (2007): I would put this a lot higher. Not only is it an excellent adaptation of the comic, it gave vampires their fangs back amidst all this Twilight nonsense. Let’s just try to forget what David Slade went on to do next.

39. The Signal (2007): If it was all like the first third, I'd agree with it being on the list, but as it was, it would likely not appear on mine.

38. Dance of the Dead (2008): As far as comically-tinged zombie flicks go, I would have slated in Dead Snow over this.

37. Open Water (2003): This would’ve been way higher for me. Very few films of this era affected me as much as this one did, but that could be my overt fear of sharks talking.

36. Slither (2006)

35. Paranormal Activity (2007)

34. Grace (2009)

33. The Midnight Meat Train (2008): This movie was enjoyable enough, but a better horror featuring Bradley Cooper was Marc Evans’ 2002 flick My Little Eye.

32. Dog Soldiers (2002)

31. The Burrowers (2008)

Paranormal Activity & Dog Soldiers are deservedly placed. As for Slither and Grace, even though I liked them both very much, I'm not sure they'd make it. The same goes for The Burrowers. I’m a bigger fan of J.T. Petty’s earlier work S&Man.

Countdown: 30 - 21

30. Sauna (2008): This is a great flick and embodies the slow, yet engaging qualities that Weinberg was referencing for Dark Water. But this one actually delivers.

29. The Children (2008): I'd probably put this a little higher. I saw this is early 2009 and it knocked my socks off.

28. The Living and the Dead (2006)

27. Dawn of the Dead (2004): Of all the classic remakes we were inundated with in the 2000's, this one does rate among the best.

26. The Loved Ones (2009): To be honest, I don't love this movie. I went in knowing nothing and couldn't help but thinking “oh, it’s just one of these movies” about half-way through. I'd be willing to give it another watch, as a recent revisit of Jon Hewitt's Acolytes improved my initial lukewarm opinion.

25. Carriers (2009): I saw this last month. It is a solid flick, but not Best 50.

24. Hostel (2005) // Hostel Part 2 (2007): I'll agree on the first, but the second? No way.

23. The Ruins (2008): The distracting CG is pretty much the only negative of this very good effort.

22. Teeth (2007): This is probably the film I liked the least on Weinberg's list.

21. A Tale of Two Sisters (2003): A fantastic film, but this area of the list would be reserved for other Asian entries like The Eye, Ju-on, Shutter or Alone, all of which are conspicuously missing from his list.

Countdown: 20 - 11

20. The Mist (2007): A solid King adaptation, with a brave ending. The B&W version on the DVD is even better because it masks some of the more dodgy CG.

19. High Tension (2003): This is my favourite of the French new wave and would no doubt be higher on my list.

18. Shaun of the Dead (2004)

17. Grindhouse (2007): This one is maybe a tad high. It is a very important title in the grand scheme of things, as it paved the way for such retro-sheik titles such as Machete, Hobo With A Shotgun and House of the Devil.

16. Saw (2004): This is another important film for indie horror, but not 16th place important.

15. Trick 'r Treat (2007): I loved this long-awaited anthology as much as the next guy, but 15th is way too high.

14. 28 Days Later (2002) // 28 Weeks Later (2007)

13. The Devil's Backbone (2001)

12. The House of the Devil (2009): I love it, but not this much. Maybe with a stronger ending, I would relent.

11. The Descent (2005): The fact that this isn’t top five is one of my biggest gripes with Weinberg's list. I would put this one in the top three, if not at number one, on my list.

Shaun of the Dead, the 28 films and Devil’s Backbone are all deserved teens.

Countdown: 10 - 1

10. Martyrs (2008): A powerhouse of a film to be sure, but I would still put High Tension and Them (which was completely absent from his list) above it because they are much more enjoyable viewing experiences.

09. The Host (2006): I've always thought this was a decent creature feature, but not worth the high praise it always seem to garner among many cinephiles.

08. [REC] (2007) // [REC] 2 (2009)

07. The Orphanage (2007)

06. Let the Right One In (2008)

05. Frailty (2001): This film is criminally underrated, but I wouldn't go so far as to put it in the top ten.

04. Inside (2007)

03. May (2002): Lucky McKee's debut is exceptional, but not better than most of the titles Weinberg put in his top twenty.

02. Session 9 (2001)

01. Pan's Labyrinth (2006)

Numbers six through eight absolutely deserve top ten. Session 9 and Inside would likely be somewhere between ten and fifteen for me. As for his number one pick? Well, it is a bit of a stretch. Although, I do believe it was my second favourite film of 2006 (Children of Men being tops), so if I did consider Pan's Labyrinth horror – I always figured it was somewhere between dark fantasy and historical drama though – I guess it would rank quite high.

I rhymed off at least half a dozen titles that I would've omitted from Weinberg's list, so what would I replace them with? Well, let's see...

Ginger Snaps (2000): I realize Weinberg isn't a Canuck, but there's no excuse for this not being on there. Two great performances from Emily Perkins & Katharine Isabelle and a dark sense of humour make this a wonderful allegory for female adolescence.

Hard Candy (2006): The perfect example of minimalist filmmaking. Get two fantastic actors (Patrick Wilson, Ellen Page) and put them in a room together with a dialogue-driven script. Magic.

Orphan (2009): You seeing a trend here? Another strong cast spearheaded by the chilling Isabelle Fuhrmann as the title character. The marketing did this film no favours, but I was really impressed with this movie.

Mulberry Street (2006): Jim Mickle's rat-zombie apocalypse in New York feels way more epic than his budget would imply and always feels grounded by characters that you actually feel something for. To pull that off is rare these days.

Behind The Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006): Clever, self-referential and most importantly, fun. Nathan Baesel kills as a serial killer in training.

The Eclipse (2009): The surprise of Fantasia 2009. What seems like an Irish romantic drama hits you with a ghost story in some of the most inventively scary ways I've ever seen. This movie still haunts me.

And here are a few more that may have made it on...

Cabin Fever (2002)

Altered (2001)

Aussie croc flicks Rogue and/or Black Water (both 2007)

Identity (2003)

Whew. I feel better now. Lighter. Talk soon.

They Get You When You Sleep!

Last Thursday, I found myself once again at The Bloor to take in another classic as part of Chris Alexander’s monthly movie nights. This time around, it was Philip Kaufman’s 1978 version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

Before the film, Alexander told the story of his first encounter with the film, seeing an ad in the back of a Batman comic at the tender age of five. For me, it was catching a few clips of it in the 1984 horror documentary Terror in the Aisles. Watching the sequence where the dog creature – that just happened to have a human head – shows up was more than enough to hook me.

The print of Invasion of the Body Snatchers was fairly weathered, with pieces of gore and nudity long chopped by some nefarious projectionist, but the sizable audience didn’t seem to mind too much. As is the usually the case when revisiting classics from my childhood, I realized several things that went unnoticed before, the most striking of which being the awesome cinematography. Every five minutes or so, there was a shot that really popped, whether it be something as simple as a camera angle or lighting effect. This film is also full of familiar faces. In addition to Donald Sutherland, Brooke Adams and Leonard Nimoy – inexplicable handwear and all – there was Veronica Cartwright, Art Hindle and Jeff Goldblum. Man, I miss Goldblum. I know he’s got some TV show now, but this guy was the shit back in the day. He was like one of those wind-up toys. Just point the camera at him and let him go!

Continuing the popular trend of genre films of that era, Invasion of the Body Snatchers is also rife with subtext. It is true that Kaufman merely updated what was already there in Don Siegel’s 1956 version and the Jack Finney novel before that, but it still applies just as poignantly. A lot of today’s science fiction and horror is so on-the nose that subtlety has almost become a lost art. And on the subject of subtle, I should mention the score of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Sure, it has the seventies-style music cues that you would expect, but the film also has several quiet moments. The filmmakers had the presence of mind to know when to shut the eff up and let the movie happen organically.

Like last month’s movie night entry Carrie, Invasion of the Body Snatchers also has one doozy of an ending. What is it with Donald Sutherland and killer endings? What made this screening extra special was that actor Art Hindle was in attendance. He talked at great length before and after the movie about not just Invasion, but all of his genre works, including Canadian staples Black Christmas and The Brood. He was full of great tales, but also seemed a little sad about the state of films today. He said that so many of them fail to even illicit a response in the viewer and the communal experience of film is being lost, due to home theatre.

I can’t say I disagree with that, but I would add that the loss is due to the audience as much as the evolution of home systems. Over the years, simple etiquette has drastically changed for the worse. Nowadays, a shockingly high number of moviegoers treat the cinema like their own living rooms by eating noisily, fiddling with their phones and using their outside voices. I can’t say if this loss of respect is due to the quality of films, but it is clear that the magic has diminished, otherwise why would we be so easily led to distraction? We should be immersed in what is right in front of our faces, shouldn’t we?

Sometimes I almost wish for the alien plant invasion. It would certainly make my visits to the local multiplex a lot more peaceful.

That's More Like It!

Here's the now infamous Rebecca Black 'Friday' video as if filtered through a Satanic Aphex Twin. Enjoy!

Show Your Support!

As I'm sure you are all aware, Insidious lands in theatres today. I would urge all horror fans to check it out, as it is well worth your time and just the type of thing we should be supporting. I was lucky enough to catch it at Midnight Madness last year and it's pretty bangin'. It has solid performances all around, genuine scares and harkens back to the classic haunted house tales without feeling like a carbon copy. For my full review from last September, click here.

Here below, is some video from the TIFF premiere, courtesy of Robert Mitchell.

Lastly, James Gunn's newest flick Super also opens this weekend. I would recommend this as well to anyone who likes comedies, with a splash of darkness. Rainn Wilson, Ellen Page and Kevin Bacon are all awesome in it. See the trailer below.