Gifrific: God I Love This Woman

Source: mangetout by Wet Leg

Stranger Danger!

I'm afraid I'll have to forego the VHS format today, as I really wanted to do a Halloween title. I'm also breaking tradition in that I'm talking about a recent release, but it is at least set in the seventies. That film is Warren Skeels' 2023 film The Man in the White Van.

Bright young Annie (Madison Wolfe) tries to navigate high school, her overbearing mother, entitled sister and also the feeling she is being stalked by a mysterious man in an old white van.

I have been waiting a long time to watch this movie. For some reason, I was never able to find it anywhere and frankly forgot about it until my friend Serena was gracious enough to let me know it was actually on YouTube. You know, even though I use it daily, I continue to underestimate YT's reach as a resource for lesser known horror titles.

The Man in the White Van is a solid piece of work. I think it would make a great double bill with the similarly-themed Woman of the Hour (also from '23), as both are inspired by true stories from the 1970s, have narratives that span several years & victims and center on strong female protagonists. This film really creates a good mix of coming-of-age tale, retro slasher and clinical true crime story. 

The title is very telling in that is what we often only see the vehicle of our assailant. It stalks its victims waiting for the right time to pounce and is just as menacing as the glimpses we do get of the killer. His infactuation with Annie, plays out very much like the middle of John Carpenter's Halloween. She can sense someone is watching her, but is dismissed by her peers when she speaks of it.

The cast of The Man in the White Van is strong, headed by Madison Wolfe who is no stranger to crime stories having played Woody Harrelson's daughter in True Detective. She plays the role well, demure, yet struggling to get out from under her restrictions. I also thought Annie's strained relationship with her sister Margaret (Brec Bassinger) felt true. Her parents are played by veterans Ali Larter and Sean Astin, who also served as producers. I have to tip my hat to Astin who often manages to hook up with beautiful women - let's not forget his time as Winona Ryder's beau in Stranger Things. It gives hope to the rest of us ;)

Madison Wolfe as Annie in The Man in the White Van.

I consume a lot of content that takes place in the seventies (whether literal or manufactured) and this is one of the more authentic ones I've seen in a while. It really nails how isolating the lack of modern technology can be, namely cell phones. It made me think about how many lives have been saved due to mobile phones, or even just call waiting.

Get off the phone, Margaret!!

The climax of this movie, seeing the resilient sisters battling the killer to survive in the absense of their parents and the police was quite intense. I was expecting this movie to devolve into your average slasher tropes, but it didn't. You never really get a good look at the killer, which I assumed was going to lead to a big reveal that he was the town priest or a school teacher, but no, just some crazy dude that walks away Myers style - it does take place during Halloween after all. There was also a throwaway sequence during one of the flashbacks where it seemed like there may be more than one, Sawyer family style, but that too was left hanging. 

Then it occured to me. The Man in the White Van isn't a slasher, it's emulating real life where killers aren't caught and there aren't enough telephone poles in the world for all the missing person flyers. This was a solid film and it sucks it didn't get a better release - at least outside of the US. I could've watched it properly instead of squinting through a 480p rip on YT. Anyway, I bid you all a Happy Halloween, and most importantly, stay safe kiddies!

Halloween Horror Trivia Watchlist

To all those who came here from the event or the Trivia FB page, welcome! I am Jay, one half of the horror trivia quizmasters and this is my humble blog. Here's a selected list of titles mentioned at the last event. Click on the titles to be redirected to their Imdb listing. Horror Trivia Night happens at Storm Crow Manor in Toronto. If you're in the area, come on down! Register here.

Tokyo Gore Police (2008)

The Fog (1980)

Curtains (1983)

MaXXXine (2024)

Daybreakers (2009)

The Convent (2008)

The Babysitter (2017)

Wishmaster (1997)

Death Line (1972)

Skinner (1993)

Blood Rage (1987)

Ginger Snaps: Unleashed (2004)

Death Weekend (1976)

Funeral Home (1980)

Killer Party (1986)

Halloween II (1981)

Halloween II (2009)

Halloween III (1983)

Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000)

Halloween 6 (1995)

Halloween H20 (1998)

Halloween 8 (2002)

Don't Go in the Attic!

The latest tape in the pile was one I just acquired at Eyesore Cinema during last weekend's Video Store Day celebrations. I spied a tape that said Horror in the Attic, saw that it starred Jeffrey Combs and Seth Green and thought to myself, “that's good enough for me.” Let's see if it was worth it.

A man (Andras Jones) wakes up in an asylum with amnesia and when the patients around him start dying, he begins to question if he might be the killer. 

While paying for it, Eyesore's proprietor Daniel was kind enough to let me know this was an alternate release of a movie called The Attic Expeditions, which did spark a vague memory of a coverbox - a dude's face wrapped in bandages, Dead & Buried style. When I later popped it in my VCR, I was immediately struck by this parade of notable names in the credits. Ted Raimi, Wendy Robie, Tim Heidecker (of Tim & Eric) even Alice Cooper shows up for a scene. It took me a second to recognize the lead was Rick from NOES 4, but I got there eventually. I initially thought his performance was fairly monotone, but later realized it was because everyone around him was so manic that it only seemed that way.

Seth Green & Andras Jones in Horror in the Attic.

It was hilarious to learn that this movie was originally supposed to be a Witchcraft sequel, but director Jeremy Kasten thought the script was too good so he made it a stand alone movie. This is likely correct, but I'd swap out the words “too good” for “too convoluted”, though I admit I am using my hazy drunken thirty-year old memory of watching Witchcraft V as a reference. I only remember bad acting and titties, and Horror in the Attic only has one of those two things. Although, it's certainly edited like an early 2000's movie.

Insert metal music here.

I must admit, I got a little dozey towards the end, but I did notice that Kasten was attempting to do some neat things with perception and consciousness with partial success. However, the main draw was just watching the actors have fun. The scenes with Combs & Raimi riffing off each other is a highlight - I literally could've watched a whole movie of that - but Seth Green is the best part of this movie. He gets to do a lot here, including a lengthy monologue one-er in which he almost dances with the cameraman. His performance reminded me of Brad Pitt's in 12 Monkeys, among other things.

Overall, this movie is quite curious. Horror in the Attic is definitely a few notches above DTV trash, but I can certainly see why it never found an audience, despite the draw of its many co-stars. See you next week for Halloween!

Oct 22nd Hellbar Trivia Watchlist

To all those who came here from the event or FB page, welcome! I am Jay, one half of the horror trivia quizmasters and this is my humble blog. Here's a selected list of titles mentioned at the last event, which was a special appearance at Offworld's October pop-up Hellbar. Click on the titles to be redirected to their Imdb listing.

Jacob's Ladder (1990)

The Ninth Gate (1999)

Immaculate (2024)

The House of the Devil (2009)

Ghostwatch (1992)

Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)

Nightbreed (1990)

Hellraiser: Hellseeker (2002)

Hellraiser: Inferno (2000)

Hellraiser: Deader (2005)

Hellraiser: Hellworld (2005)

Suspiria (2018)

Drag Me To Hell (2009)

Night of the Demon (1957)

The Devil's Candy (2015)

Devil's Mile (2014)

The Devil's Mile (1987)

Evilspeak (1981)

In the Mouth of Madness (1994)

The Manitou (1978)

Jennifer's Body (2009)

Exorcist: Dominion (2005)

The Exorcist III (1990)

House of Exorcism (1975)

The Pope's Exorcist (2023)

When Evil Lurks (2023)

On The Cutting Room Floor.

VHS Fridays continue with the next tape on the pile, the 2000 Aussie meta slasher Cut. The fact that I have done two Australian movies in a row is completely coincidental. I mean seeing Molly Ringwald on the box obviously didn't scream “down under” to me. But let's see if it makes the cut (mugs to camera).

A young director tries to finish a lost horror film called Hot Blooded, after it was shelved after its director was brutally murdered on-set.

Cut starts well enough, giving us a film within a film where Molly Ringwald is stalked ad nauseum. I award early points for using the Split Enz song “I Got You” - NZ represent! When a gore effect malfunctions, the director (Kylie Minogue in a brief cameo) get pissed and is later murdered by Scissorman, I mean, Scarman with some very odd looking shears. This causes the film to be lost and rumoured cursed, until Film Audiovisual Radio & Television School's (FARTS for short!) best and brightest decide to finish it.

This movie doesn't really hide its intentions. Cut was Australia's entry into the nineties slasher cycle and as well as their answer to Scream, with Scarman standing in for Ghostface. Hell, they even managed to get Ringwald, who during the genesis of Scream was tapped to play Sidney Prescott. Here she's more of the Gale Weathers though, with Aussie actress Jessica Napier filling in for Neve. I will at least say they share the same vibe.

Jessica Napier & Molly Ringwald in Cut.

Cut struggles at times to get the ingredients of the meta slasher just right, sometimes leaning into full parody. You also have to ignore the fact that this low-budget horror production seems to be able to chug along even after their department heads start going missing. No boom? No wardrobe? No sound? No problem!

Having said that, the Scarman mask does look cool and was apparently cast to the actor's face for an extra snug fit. During the climax, there are some mask-melting effects that come off well. I assume it was a mix of practical and digital that for the time are kind of impressive. I'll have to ask my buddy Nash if he has seen this film because the only other time I have seen a death-by-wood-slicer scene is In A Violent Nature. I know he used many films as inspiration, but this would be the deepest cut (Oops, I did it again) of all. Oh, and I have to mention that Hot Blooded's shooting location is named the Swiss Chalet. I love that even foreigners can get in on Canadian content every once and a while.

Cut, though it sometimes overindulges in the tropes of the time, is still an entertaining watch that at a brisk eighty-two minutes doesn't overstay. Plus, I have to admit it was nice seeing Molly Ringwald again. That's all for now, let's see what I get up to next week.

Who Killed Cock Robin?

Yes, October VHS Fridays continue here at THS. Since my tape of the 1982 Morgan Fairchild thriller The Seduction snapped on its reels, I had to make a last-minute pivot to the Aussie offering Cassandra from 1987.

Young Cassandra's (Tessa Humprhries) repressed memories have been bubbling to the surface. Her parents tell her it's nothing, but their reluctance to share the skeletons in their family closet may have dire consequences.

Cassandra opened up promisingly enough with a wicked title card, some wild editing that would make even Sam Raimi blush, a sweet piano-driven score and an evil child channeling Emperor Palpatine.

That GIF really doesn't do it justice without sound. I also want to point out that it gives me great joy that even after a half-century on this Earth, most of that watching horror films, I can still encounter clips and sounds that were sampled by the industrial bands I listened to in my youth, this one in particular being TKK. So, five minutes in, I was having a gas.

Cassandra ends up being a servicable flick, but it has a bit of an identity crisis, not uncommon of late eighties horror. Its body count is too low to be a slasher, even though it may have been marketed as such, and its supernatural elements - Cass's visions of past and future - are too sparce for your average paranormal affair so it just spends much of its running time hanging between the two.

Tessa Humphries as Cassandra.

Another puzzling element is how little Cassandra is in this movie. You would assume being the title character, she would be the, you know, MAIN character, but to be honest she almost disappears in the middle act, replaced by her mother-not-mother Helen, who is admittedly bad-ass. She fends off multiple attacks from the killer and surprised me with her resilience. The rest was just looking past the reddest of all red herrings, awaiting the true killer to be revealed that I certainly didn't need Cassie's second sight to figure out.

I've had this tape for quite some time (and one of the few I own with a blue case) so it was good that I finally got down under to watch this piece of Ozploitation. I think I have my Fridays line up locked in for the next few weeks (provided no tape malfunctions) so check back soon.