Welcome To Dog Island.

Hey-o! I did it, four weeks, four CanCon flicks! Again, you'll have to forgive that I don't own the VHS, it's not for lack of trying because this is one I've been meaning to watch for a while; Paul Lynch's 1982 joint Humongous.

Six young people get stranded on an abondoned island only to find that are not alone - and whatever it is is hungry.

Truth be told, I probably would have sought this out sooner if I knew it was Canadian. I guess I expected it to be spelt “Humoungous” eh? Seriously though, Paul “Prom Night” Lynch directing and Anthony “Thrillkill” Kramreither producing is enough pedigree for me to partake. So, our movie begins on Labour Day 1946 and it got me thinking that not many - if any - horror films take place on that holiday. I guess this was the era where every slasher - which I guess this objectively is - had to take place on a special occasion.

I didn't get to dwell on that for long, because I was hit with a particularly grody and drawn out rape scene and subsequent dog mauling. Fun. Then it was present day and we meet a bunch of aloof teens(?) who go boating for some reason I can't remember. Among them, is Joy Boushel as Donna, but unfortunately she doesn't get to do much expect rub blueberries on her tits and get verbally abused by her dick boyfriend. No matter, in a few year's she'd get to be in that iconic “be afraid, be very afraid” scene in The Fly. Boushel may have only been in a handful of films, but she sure made an impression. Anyhoo, after picking up a random dude Dead Calm-style, the aforementioned dick boyfriend gets wasted and crashes the boat by doing what he was expressly told not to. 

I think the character who probably should've been the Final Girl of this picture was Carla (Janit Baldwin), but she unfortunately disappears during the climax and is literally tossed aside. She had good energy and reminded me of a mix of Andrea Martin and Sam Hanratty (Young Misty from Yellowjackets). She deserved better, and perhaps Baldwin knew that too because she soon quit acting and became a fashion designer. Maybe that explains why she was half-wearing her lifejacket for a bunch of scenes. She was a trend-setter!

Joy Boushel (left) & Janit Baldwin in Humongous.

I don't know if I have a bunch more to say about this movie. It sadly falls into the trap of low-budget movies where you spend a lot of time watching the characters walking and searching, searching and walking. I'm assuming it was also the budget that caused half of the death scenes to be off-screen. I mean, I get it, a lot of the original Friday the 13th kills were off-screen too, but that had more than six characters. Humongous is pretty much a cross between Madman and The Unseen with the climax decidedly lifted from Friday 2. However, since those guys pilfered heavily from Bay of Blood I can't really scold Lynch now, can I?

“You've done your job well and Mommy is pleased.”

I don't want to harp on the actual Final Girl of the picture, Sandy (Janet Julian) as she is perfectly fine. I got some Jess Harper vibes from her and she does stab the big bad in the dick with a No Trespassing sign so... points for that. It may not be as badass as the throat fisting finale in Just Before Dawn, but what is, really? I can tell you what isn't badass though. When our so-called hero Eric (David Wallace) sharpens a big stick down to a point and then proceeds to use it like a bat.

I hope you enjoyed CanCon June and here's wishing you have a happy Canada Day! Raise a Moosehead and think of your favourite flick from the Great White North!