Shocktober 20.

Hello all! Happy October! I know my posts have been anemic of late, but I've been dealing with some shit so blogging has fallen by the wayside. However, I saw that Stacie over at Final Girl was doing another Shocktober 20 Favourite Horror Films  this year.

I had the pleasure of finally meeting Stacie in person over the summer and we had a delightful conversation about Twin Peaks, Messiah of Evil and Toronto horror movie locations she should visit the next time she is in town. Her blog has always been an inspiration to me - I can safely say THS would likely not exist without it - and I'm glad almost twenty years later, it soldiers on.

So, yeah, the Fave 20 list. FG has done them before, but I believe this will be the first time I have participated. Here they are below, favourite being the distinction, over “best”. I tried to keep the titles as intrinsicly horror as possible, which is why adored titles like Alien, Black Swan, Fire Walk With Me, Mulholland Drive, Seven, Silence of the Lambs and Under The Skin didn't potentially creep in there.

I also kinda broke it down to sixty-percent classics, thirty-percent contemporary and ten-percent guilty pleasures. Ranking would be impossible so here they are alphabetically.

An American Werewolf in London (1982)

My favourite horror comedy and one that is absolutely intertwined with my childhood. It includes my favourite werewolf transformation and a bevy of quotable lines I still use to this day.

Black Christmas (1974)

The granddaddy of all slashers that gets better every time I watch it - which is annually. Terrific CanCon, and ahead of its time in so many ways.

The Brain (1988)

A movie I have become obsessed with over the last decade-and-a-half. I love everything about this film, including that all of its locations are within an hour drive of my house. This is the kind of bonkers low budget filmmaking that really makes my heart sing.

Dawn of the Dead (1978)

It was a tough choice between this and its predecessor Night of the Living Dead, but I just went with the one with more bang for your buck. A quintessential apocalypse movie and the catalyst for long office chair daydreams about my escape plan.

Deadly Eyes (1982)

Another delicious piece of Canadian tax shelter gold. Even if this wasn't based on one of my favourite books, the fact someone had the idea to dress dashchunds in rat costumes is God-tier excellence. Also another movie where the shooting locations are within my grasp.

The Descent (2006)

This still remains one of my favourite theater-going experiences. Witnessing a packed house collectively have their nerves shredded was euphoric. The one-two punch of intense claustophobia falling into visceral monster madness absolutely kills. I would have no problem crowning this movie the winner of the aughts.

The Evil Dead (1981)

I said there would be no rankings, but gun to my head, inevitably Sam Raimi's debut would be my #1. He's my boy, and inspired countless filmmakers to pick up a camera.

The Exorcist (1973)

A true classic in every way, and one of my faves to watch YT reactions of. This film has such range switching from legit family drama to unhinged chaos that it almost feels unsafe to watch at times. 

Halloween (1978)

A film so ingrained in my DNA that I am surprised I don't bleed orange. As a kid, Michael Myers was my spirit animal. Though it may seem redundant because Black Christmas is also on here, let's be honest, Halloween was the true template for all that came after. A Top 3 movie for sure and another annual tradition.

High Tension (2003)

One of my favourite Midnight Madness screenings, and my proper introduction to the New French Extremity. While 2006's Inside is admittedly just as deserving of this spot, Tension has the distinction of being the only piece of physical media I own that I paid over a hundred dollars for (if you count the all-region player I had to buy to play my UK import of the alternately titled Switchblade Romance).

It Follows (2014)

Perhaps a controversial pick, but I adore this movie. It's lore, combined with its timeless visual style and unforgettable score really felt fresh and cemented it among the best this decade had to offer. Also the start of a promising career for its lead, Maika Monroe.

Jaws (1975)

Another formative movie for me. A perfect man versus animal movie that birthed a thousand clones. While The Legacy and Alligator brought on my fear of water, my fear of sharks no doubt started with this movie. Terrific filmmaking all around.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

Wes Craven took slashers to a new level and made the monster something you couldn't escape. Michael was my first bro, but I really responded to Freddy in my teens. Robert Englund deserves even more  credit that he already gets for his performances in this series, and the reason he would likely be the Washington of the slashers' Mount Rushmore.

The Orphanage (2007)

A beautiful and tragic film from Spain. This film has so many wonderfully chilling set pieces and gut wrenching performance from Belén Rueda. The image of Tomás standing in the courtyard while children play oblivious around him is one of my all time faves. 

[REC] (2007)

Another Spanish gem. This would have to be my favourite found footage movie, just edging out The Blair Witch Project after much deliberation. Though Blair may have had more of an impact on my life at the time, there is no denying the technical perfection on display in Plaza & Balaguero's opus. It is also one of the most unfaltering examples of escalation I have ever seen put to film.

The Shining (1980)

No surprise here. Kubrick's take on King material is a masterpiece. The setting of The Overlook Hotel is so soaked in disorienting dread that essays (and documentaries) have been written on what it all means. I adore every frame of this film.

Suspiria (1977)

I realized early on that I'd only be able to put one Italian title on this list and after much debate, I had to go with Argento's seminal piece. It is the Mona Lisa of horror films. Dream-like, abstract and kaliedoscopic, it was the sound choice.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

I assert that there is no more powerful horror film viewed on the big screen that Tobe Hooper's horror debut. The sound of that chainsaw mixed with Marilyn Burns' screams will cut through even the most stalwart. The last act is so unrelenting that it takes multiple viewings to see the underlying comedy of it all. Another Top 3 movie for me.

The Thing (1981)

John Carpenter is only director on this list to have two movies on it so that should indicate how dear his work is to me. The amount of sheer effects wizardry on display - that still holds up today even after multiple restorations - is absolutely ridiculous, especially when you consider effects lead Rob Bottin was fucking 22 years old! But even without the effects, the film stands on its own as a paranoia pot boiler.

The VVitch (2015)

The newest film on the list that I instantly fell in love after seeing at TIFF. Robert Eggers delivers such a grounded and authentic period piece bouyed by fantastic performances led by future A-lister Anya Taylor Joy.

Okay, that's it. No takebacks! This was not easy. In addition to those outliers I mentioned before, I wasn't able to fit in any Asian horror titles or any others that are near and dear to my heart like Paperhouse or Blood and Black Lace. All that said, I'm chuffed to see where all these placed on Shocktober's list when all is said and done. Will I be the only cheerleader for The Brain and Deadly Eyes? Will Halloween reclaim its place as #1 after being unseated by the Suspiria remake?  We shall see!

Sep 25th Horror Trivia Screening Guide

To all those who came here from the event or Storm Crow's FB page, welcome! I am Jay, one half of the horror trivia quizmasters and this is my humble blog. Here's a selected list of titles mentioned at the last event. Click on the titles to be redirected to their Imdb listing. Horror Trivia Night happens at Storm Crow Manor in Toronto. If you're in the area, come on down! Register here.

Hellraiser: Hell on Earth (1992)

In A Violent Nature (2024)

Don't Go In The Woods (1981)

Rituals (1977)

The Forest (1982)

Just Before Dawn (1981)

The Faculty (1998)

The Blackcoat's Daughter (2015)

Student Bodies (1981)

Urban Legend (1998)

Ginger Snaps (2000)

Thir13en Ghosts (2001) 

Pieces (1982)

Let Sleeping Corpses Lie (1974)

I Saw the TV Glow (2024)

Orphan (2009)

Parasite (1982)

Flesh for Frankenstein (1973)

My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009)

Piranha 3D (2010)

The Mask (1961)

The Dark of the Forest.

Hello all. Happy Friday the 13th! In celebration I pulled the most relevant and unwatched camping slasher out of the pile, Don Jones' 1982 joint The Forest.

Two couples inadvisably go camping in the woods, not aware of the nefarious fate that awaits them.

Through the opening credits, I was serenaded with smooth trumpeting jazz as I watched a couple march through the serena Californian woods. I assumed these two were our protagonists, but nope, they got butchered within minutes. Okay, maniac in woods got it. I then wondered if this was going to be Don't Go In the Woods where people just get set up and knocked down like bowling pins, but no, we then shifted to another horror.

Traffic. The real horror of this movie. I've been attending TIFF all week and that means battling Toronto gridlock. Sometimes I think I'd rather eat a killer's knife than face that. It is at least quicker. But I digress. Two couples, who I wondered were actually married by the way they talked to each other, try to one-up each other about who is the better camper. Psst, the answer is none of them.

They all decide to go out into woods, but not together – because Battle of the Sexes – and it all goes tits up from there. Sharon (Tomi Barrett) & Teddi (Ann Wilkinson) leave, secretly hoping the men, Steve (Dean Russell aka wish JK Simmons) and Charlie (John Batis) are right behind them, which they are – until car trouble puts them a good half-day behind. After trekking several hours, our ladies set up camp and during the night things take a bizarre turn.

Yes, The Forest is about a crazy dude turned cannibal living in the woods, but it also about the ghosts of his dead family roaming around, as well. See, he murdered this wife for cheating – something makes me think Jones has issues with women and relationships – and ran off into the woods with his kids. Said kids then offed themselves for a number of reasons, the least of which could have been the trauma of being locked in the bedroom closet while their mom boinked the water heater, err refridgerator repairman.

The kid on the right is named Corky Pigeon, I shit you not.

I have to admit that even though this movie is fifty-percent hiking footage, I was slightly invested in whether these city slickers were going to be able to catch up with their wives in time. And surprisingly, even as chauvanistic as most of this movie is, it's Sharon who ends up saving the day.

So, even though it doesn't have the crap-tastic flair of Don't Go In The Woods or the cinematography or set peices of Just Before Dawn or the soon-to-be star power of The Final Terror, however it is still a mildly entertaning oddity with a theme song that slaps. Dude apparently put up his house to make this movie so the least I can do is give it a whirl. Bizarrely, at some point the renter of this tape - from Jumbo Video says the tag - recorded a 1995 episode of The Rush Limbaugh Show on the end. Oh, the horror...

Aug 28th Horror Trivia Screening Guide

To all those who came here from the event or Storm Crow's FB page, welcome! I am Jay, one half of the horror trivia quizmasters and this is my humble blog. Here's a selected list of titles mentioned at the last event. Click on the titles to be redirected to their Imdb listing. Horror Trivia Night happens at Storm Crow Manor in Toronto. If you're in the area, come on down! Register here.

Cuckoo (2024)

Humane (2024)

Uncle Sam (1996)

Midsommar (2019)

The Brood (1979)

Under Paris (2024)

Fall (2022)

Becky (2020)

Under The Skin (2013)

Creepers (1985)

Demons (1985)

Repo: The Genetic Opera (2008)

Studio 666 (2022)

The Lure (2015)

Duel (1971)

Trilogy of Terror (1975)

Ghostwatch (1992)

Salem's Lot (1979)

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (2010)

Threads (1984)

Someone's Watching Me! (1978)

Storm Crow August Trivia, Screenshot Round

What the F*ck Is a Nutria?

With this week's tape off the pile, we continue our parade of covers featuring people (or beings in this case) looking through windows. I do remember 1985's Terror in the Swamp from my video store, but it seemed too bargain basement at the time to give it a go. Well, better late than never!

An experiment gone wrong escapes in a Louisiana swamp and starts preying on the nearby townsfolk.

When the cast list came up for Terror in the Swamp (or T.I.T.S. for short), I wondered if this was thinly disguised porno. I mean with names like Chuck Bush, Chuck Long and Claudia Wood, what the hell am I supposed to think? But no sir, this is just your average Bigfoot-but-not-a-Bigfoot-in-the-Bayou movie.

I have to admit I was a little confused because the word Nutria kept being said with drinking game-like frequency that I had to look it up. I'm from the Great White North, we have beavers here. I guess the critter in question was the swamp rat I had the displeasure of seeing annihilated by a hunter's shotgun at the hop. He got his though, don't you worry.

So, as far as I can hack it, this fur company paid some scientist to breed bigger nutrias in order to make more fur, but it mutated in to a... NUTRAMAN! This was apparently the original title, but the filmmakers were like, “what the fuck is that? People are gonna think it's about a soft drink, or maybe that Hazelnut spread that looks like diarrhea.” And rightly so. I'm just trying to wrap my head about these fur conglomerates. Aren't there like a million other animals with more lucrative pelts than mid-sized rodents?

On the surface, this looks and feels like a Z-grade dollar-fifty production, but as it went along, I noticed a few things. First, the cast balloons as it goes on. A single ranger turns into an entire police force AND a team of Green Berets. A guy who could be Hillbilly Jim wrangles his crew, as well as dozens of gun-toting poachers wanting to collect the bounty for Nutraman's head. That's not even counting the scientists, who delightfully get offed by Crazy Sally (who I like to think is related to Mama from Friday Part 5). 

Claudia Wood as Crazy Sally in Terror in the Swamp.

Second, in the third act, there are all kinds of boats, planes and helicopters flying everywhere. Like, those aren't cheap, right? Plus, the characters are often knee deep in marsh, which means the CREW are also knee deep in marsh. I would imagine that slowed things down. Then, they even pull out a bazooka to potentially take down our beast Grizzly style!

Terror In The Swamp is objectively shit, making Frogs look like Jurassic Park, but I have to commend the ambition of the last third, even it doesn't really ever give you a good look at its monster. I just hope Frank (Billy Holliday) was able to take his lady to the Saints game on Sunday.