In addition to the usual reviews and comments you would find on a horror movie blog, this is also a document of the wonderfully vast horror movie section of the video store I worked at in my youth.

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Short of the Week #46: The Ten Steps

Going way back to 2004, here's one of my favourite all-time short films, Brendan Muldowney's The Ten Steps.

Putting aside my penchant for babysitter stories, I've always thought the payoff in this short was exceptional. Muldowney has since gone on to direct three features, Savage (2009), Love Eternal (2013) and Pilgrimage last year starring Tom Holland and Jon Bernthal.

Friday, December 7, 2018

You Snooze, You Lose.

This week's VHS is Bill Rebane's 1978 killer virus flick The Alpha Incident.

An organism brought back from Mars infects a group of people in a railway station.

With flu season upon us, I thought it fitting to revisit a movie I haven't seen since my Major Video days. I pretty much only remembered the big effects piece in the movie and it didn't even go down how I recalled it. As a movie, The Alpha Incident wears its lack of budget on its sleeve as the majority of the movie takes place in one room, as faraway scientists search for a cure.


I found myself frustrated with the characterizations here, as apart from straight arrow Dr. Sorensen (Stafford Morgan), everyone is rather insipid or exaggerated and certainly not the kind of folks you'd want to spend your last moments with. Perhaps most disappointing was how useless the only female character was, as Jenny (Carol Irene Newell) goes from fairly meek to sneaking off to snog the wholly unappealing Jack (John Goff) for no real reason other than perhaps the filmmakers needed a flash of skin.

If you look up LEER in the dictionary...

I've always found the movie's hook of a virus that only kills you once you fall asleep really interesting – it was most of the reason I wanted to re-watch it – but I sure wish they'd had the funds to fully realize this idea. You only get to see the effects once, well twice if you count the poor lab rat earlier in the movie. The Alpha Incident also concludes how you would expect though I did have to rewind it because it's executed very strangely. I couldn't tell if the production just couldn't afford squibs or they were inferring that they also brought back ray guns from Mars, as well.

If Don Draper had been a bio-chemist...

As you know, I'm not one for remakes, but if there's one that could use a second go-round it's this one. I assume The Alpha Incident was a low budget riff on Robert Wise's The Andromeda Strain, but if you happen to be looking for alternate seventies virus-on-the-loose yarns, I'd go with George A. Romero's 1973 picture The Crazies, or even Ed Hunt's Canadian tax shelter effort Plague from 1978.

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Short BITS 2018

The seventh edition of the Blood in the Snow Canadian Film Festival wrapped up early last week and was, by all accounts, a rousing success. Expanding to six days and adding several more panels and a new spotlight of genre web series, the fest showed that the future here is bright. Though I took in a few features (the highlight of which being Danishka Esterhazy's Level 16), I will be concentrating on the short films screened at the fest.

It was a strong year that ran the gamut, whether it was the adorable middle-school produced Frostbite from the North West Territories, or the all-too-real tragic scenario of Daumoun Khakpour's Standby, there was something for every horrorphile throughout the weekend.

Nelson Dunk's The Devil You Know was a piece I had seen a few times while screening shorts for festivals this year and I am glad it found a place here. It's an interesting concept that flourishes on the strength of its two leads Courtney Hecktus & Aubree Erickson.

Ariel Hansen's Nepenthes upped the ante on the killer house tale, offering up something extra gooey.

It is often hard for festivals to find slots for long form shorts, but fortunately BITS found one for Nicole Goode's Supine. This beautifully shot piece about a lonely taxidermist kept me engaged throughout, largely due to the sullen, yet striking performance from Eva Larvoire.

David J. FernandesBinge offered up an intriguing mystery that would've been at home in an episode of Vincenzo Natali's series DarkNet.

Robert DeLeskie's short film Lay Them Straight was terrific and well deserving of the Best Short Award at this year's fest. It's extremely sedate and introspective, ultimately building to a chilling, yet wholly satisfying conclusion.

For me personally – and for those who know of my penchant for babysitter creepers this should come as no surprise – my fave of the fest was Jenny Stang's The Whistler. It's not only well acted and looked great, it also took the time to create its own lore. I've come to describe it as this year's Banshee, but far superior in my opinion.

So that's my rundown of the BITS bunch. You may or may not have noticed how many of these aforementioned shorts were directed by women. It is actually a promising trend I have noticed while watching hundreds of shorts in 2018. Numbers are definitely up and that's encouraging. Speaking of which, I'd like to give a shout out to Larissa ThomasAlicia Faucher for being nominated for Best Web Series in Allie & Lara Make A Horror Movie. Check it out here if you feel so inclined.

Friday, November 30, 2018

The House of Lords.

This week it's another VHS from my recent Horror-Rama haul in Jim Wynorski's 1988 sci-fi flick Not Of This Earth.

An alien (Arthur Roberts) from a dying planet comes to Earth in search of blood to rejuvenate his race.

When the opening credits first came on, I was like, “wow this is amazing, if the rest of the movie is half this good--” then my eyebrow raised when I saw something very familiar. This being a Roger Corman production, I realized that this opening was a greatest hits reel of some of his most memorable pictures including Humanoids From The Deep and Galaxy of Terror. It's a bit of a cheat, but it also made for one hell of an opening.

It took me a while to clock into this movie because as it felt like two distinct sensibilities mixing together into some kind of primordial soup. First, you had the strange genre picture that would've been camp if it wasn't played so straight. It was like John Waters – though I've only seen like two of his movies so it's more like what I think his movies are like – with tons of random nudity. Then put over top of that was a weird noir where people – especially the exchanges between Nadine (Traci Lords) and her co-worker Jeremy (Lenny Juliano) - talk like they're from the fifties. Imagine if a bunch of topless dancers showed up to the station in the second act of Howard Hawks' The Thing.

Traci Lords as Nadine in Not Of This Earth.

Looking up the movie afterwards – this is definitely one I'd love to hear the commentary track – and seeing it was a remake of Corman's own picture from 1957, it all made sense. He & Wynorski updated the movie with an eighties aesthetic, visual effects and gratuitous T&A, but didn't change the cadence of the dialogue. Now I get it. It's actually kind of a marvel when you take into account that – in regular Corman fashion – the movie was shot in under twelve days. It was also helped by Chuck Cirino's score, even if the best bits sounded like riffs off his earlier score from Chopping Mall.

Arthur Roberts as Mr. Johnson in Not Of This Earth.

Not Of This Earth is also known for being Lords' first non-porn role and the last picture she played in her birthday suit. She's actually pretty good in this, but it is hard to tell sometimes with all the abstract dialogue. Lords isn't the only familiar face either, as Kelli Maroney from Chopping Mall shows up, as does Roger Lodge, the guy from that Blind Date show. I'd also love to know if there is a story why Dick Miller wasn't the vacuum salesman. Michael DeLano did a fine job, but I couldn't help but wonder if he wasn't a last minute replacement.

So, though Not Of This Earth may not be the caliber of Wynorski's more appreciated works, it's still an interesting anomaly. By the third act I was invested enough to want to know how this crazy tale was going to finish up.

Tuesday, November 27, 2018

Short of the Week #45: Greener Grass

It's time to weird things up here with Paul Briganti's 2015 short Greener Grass.

This short cracks me up every time.

Friday, November 23, 2018

The Adventures of Jamie & Teddy

With the seventh edition of the Blood in the Snow Canadian Film Fest now underway, it seems to appropriate to spool up something from the Great White North. This week’s VHS is Lew Lehman’s 1981 flick The Pit.

When awkward twelve-year-old Jamie (Sammy Snyders) discovers several “Trolologs” in a hole in the forest, he goes to increasingly grisly lengths to keep them fed.

The Pit is such a wonderfully strange movie. Having discovered it during my video store jockey days, it’s really the gift that keeps on giving in that not only do you have a weirdo kid – or “funny person” as one of his tormentors calls him – who talks to his teddy bear, but also carnivorous monsters in the woods. It’s also a bit unusual in that it’s a Canadian production, mostly shot in Wisconsin (the interior pit sequences were done in Toronto according to Imdb) because it’s often the other way around.

Snyders puts in a terrific off-kilter performance as Jamie and considering how bizarre the script must have read, I’m always impressed by how much he committed to it. It would’ve been so easy to go over the top, but he plays everything so matter-of-fact. Sadly, The Pit was one of the last things he did before leaving the biz.

Sammy Snyders as Jamie in The Pit

I find Jamie such an interesting subject because he’s clearly a bit off, but not what I would consider evil in the sense we usually see in killer kid flicks. Sure, he’s feeding people to his “pets”, but when you take into account a good majority of the meat were either bullies or just mean folk, it’s sometimes hard not to root for him. He’s weird as fuck to be sure and his obsession with naked ladies probably would’ve escalated, but he ain’t straight up Children of the Corn is what I’m saying.

Also, his babysitter Sandy (Jeannie Elias) may have left her guide book at home. What was she was thinking when she, after being expressly told that Jamie is susceptible to crushes, decides to a) wash Jamie’s back in the tub and b) backpedal when she says she has a boyfriend – “Well, he isn't really what you'd call a boyfriend, he's just a friend.” WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

Mind you, this ill-advised behaviour does fall in line with the bonkers tone of the piece. Laughing out loud as Jamie pushes an old lady in a wheelchair through a field to her doom is inevitable, but watching him blackmail his neighbour into undressing at her front window, not so much. I beg to differ with the Sheriff who exclaimed he moved to this town because nothing ever happens.

If there was a critique of The Pit, it would be the pacing, as things come in fits and starts, most noticeably when the opening sequence is replayed (in its entirety I might add) later in the picture. It could also be accused of going on a little too long. After the movie reaches its logical conclusion the narrative completely abandons Jamie for like fifteen minutes, while it turns into Humanoids From The Deep. I’m not going to complain too much, as it was clearly an attempt to add more gore and nudity, but having a bunch of hicks hunt down the Trolologs only served to shine a empathetic light on them. I also want to take this opportunity to give it up for those hairy dudes because they ruled.

I love this movie, but every time I watch it I am always left wondering… What happened to Teddy? A throwaway scene suggested that Teddy was actually sentient so I’ve always wondered what happened to him after Jamie left to play with his new friend, Alicia.

Sequel anyone?

Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Short of the Week #44: The 7 Sevens

This week's short is a terrific little tale I saw my first year as a festival screener. I've always found the phenomena of number stations to be extremely interesting and I love Lane & Ruckus Skye's take on it. Below is their 2015 short, The 7 Sevens.

The 7 Sevens is a perfect example of all you need to make a great film is a solid idea and a pair of really talented actors. The Skye's are currently finishing up post on the debut feature, The Reckoning