With the bust that was Girls School Screamers, I further perused my shelves of unwatched VHS and came across 1985's shot-on-video title Blood Cult. I'm aware of the format's dubious track record, but I figured, “hey it can't be worse than The Ripper, right?”. I WAS SO WRONG.
A sheriff (Charles Ellis) investigates a series of ritualistic murders on a nearby college campus.
This movie. Jesus. It actually makes titles like 555 and The Ripper (which technically was Oklahoma-based director Christopher Lewis' follow-up to Blood Cult) seem Oscar-worthy by comparison, as those titles not only delivered on the gore, but character interactions were at least mildly amusing. Blood Cult is literally like staring at a wall, or this...
|We deal in excitement.|
This static shot hangs there for what seems like forever while action takes place off screen. This might have been acceptable, if not for the fact that a little while later, the scene is fully recounted to the fucking sheriff. Like what the hell was the point of that whole scene before? And stuff like this happens every five minutes. The sheriff reads aloud at length from a book about ritualistic murder in between letting anyone within earshot know that he better solve these crimes because an election is coming up. He literally say this more times than there are actual murders in the movie. Apart from that, we get to see the unsexiest couple you've ever seen paw at each other. And don't even get me started on the cafeteria scene...
|Today's special... Finger foods!|
Suffering through Blood Cult was actually worth it though because at the end of the tape there was a United Home Video trailer reel hosted by Elvira-knock-off Lady Cadaver. I was going to upload it, but then I discovered that YT user Deadpit Radio already did the job for me. Enjoy!