You Are What You Watch.

Sorry for the absence, June has been a month racked with little annoyances that have kept me off my couch doing the “important” things. Anyhoo, with Canada Day happening soon, I pulled the nearest Canuck horror off the pile, a 1980 joint called Deadline, shot here in our fair Toronto. It actually took me a while to acquire this tape so I was chuffed to finally watch it.

A controversial horror novelist struggles to balance his failing marriage with his agent breathing down his neck for new content.

Within the first few scenes of this movie, I had to ask myself “why doesn't Deadline get talked about more?” I mean that blood shower sequence is way more gratuitous than the one from Death Ship - also 1980 and the only memorable part from that film - and then there's the snowplow scene where Black Philip looks on as a mechanic gets mangled to pieces.

As Deadline wears on, it becomes more and more apparent that the movies that author and now screenwriter Steven Lessey (played by Stephen Young) are way more interesting (or at least entertaining) than the one I was actually watching - much like Dave Parker's 2009 movie The Hills Run Red. At a certain point, I had to concede that Deadline is obscure because the last half is pretty meandering and its conclusion nowhere near as good as its setup. I wonder if there was a lot of meddling in post, because even though it was shot in 1979, it did not release until five(!) years later.

Stephen Young as Steven Lessey in Deadline.

One thing that stuck with me, was the scene where Lessey is at his alma mater to receive a commendation and is then berated by his audience for the violence in his work. It reminded me of the backlash against David Cronenberg after Shivers came out. Due to being partially funded by the Canadian government, detractors were incensed that taxpayer money was going to something so “depraved” and “repulsive.” Because Deadline was also a tax shelter movie, I can't help but think this scene (and movie) was a dig at these fools.

It was also good to see Cindy Hinds pop up in a few scenes. Man, what a great time for her, getting to “hang” around in this, after also being chased by monster kiddies in The Brood. I wonder which of these two movies was the most upsetting to shoot. I see her kicking around the Ontario convention circuit from time to time, I should ask her next time we cross paths.

Deadline is terrific Gif fodder, but it ultimately gets diluted by the long and drawn out scenes of Lessey's descent into madness, putting it below the fold for all but Canuxploitation completionists and fans of Carole Pope & Rough Trade who also appear performing their song, Revenge.

We LOVE It When Our Friends Become Successful

Hey all! I just wanted to give a quick shout-out to my buddy Chris Nash. His debut feature In A Violent Nature is hitting screens this weekend. You should go see it!

I've known Nash for close to two decades and after having worked on a half-dozen projects with him, I know what a talented and driven guy he is. He deserves the spotlight. I urge you to support indie films like this, so Shudder and other companies continue to foster unique voices like Nash, Kyle Edward Ball & Robert Morgan.

If you are a fan of slashers, this should be a no-brainer, as even if you're not down with ambient and deliberate narrative of IAVN, you'll at least be thrilled by the visceral kills. That's basically what I told Nash after I saw it, “Man, sure there's gonna be a bunch of people that say, this is fucking boring, but there's also gonna be sizable subset that really dig and appreciate what you were trying to do here.”

If you're the latter, make your voice heard!

Complications?!

The next VHS on the pile was Brian Thomas Jones' 1988 flick The Rejuvenator. This was a movie I'm kind of shocked I never got to because the coverbox was omnipresent during my youth. Let's see what I missed out on...

A doctor (John MacKay) looking to reverse the aging process finds a willing test subject in wealthy over-the-hill actress Elizabeth Warren (Vivian Lanko, not the US Senator). As you would expect, things go awry.

With experimental treatments really hitting the public eye in the eighties there were a glut of B-movies about mad scientist's work spiralling out of control. However, the floodgates really opened with the cult success of Re-Animator in 1985 and The Rejuvenator was no doubt a by-product of this boom.

As you can see by the cover, this movie presents itself as an FX picture and thankfully they had Ed French there to steer that ship. French worked on a ton of notable pictures from the eighties, including The Stuff, C.H.U.D & Creepshow 2 so he was well versed in bringing creatures to the screen. The evolution of the effects in The Rejuvenator is fun to watch and kudos to Lanko because she was a trooper. Acting with what must have been at least ten pounds strapped to the back of her head for hours on end must have been unpleasant to say the least.

And that's not even mentioning the air bladders galore, or the bonus mutant rats throughout. Also, in the positive column we have a pan flute accompanied sex scene, an elongated club sequence with the delightful female punk band, The Poison Dolly's and an optional drinking game involving the oft-said phrase "synthesize the serum".

Katell Pleven & John MacKay in the Rejuvenator.

Despite our good doctor's insistence that "the science is sound", Elizabeth starts leaving a trail of bodies in her wake, including the dutiful assistant, Stella (Katell Pleven) - whom I'm sure was only named that so the doctor could yell that over her dead body Brando-style. By this point, Lizzie was sucking the brain juice right out of people's heads, cutting out the middle man so to speak. Soon after, the place is raided by the authorities, half of whom look like mob goons and cab drivers rather than detectives, and you can guess what happens next....

No one would say The Rejuvenator is top tier stuff, but despite being pretty dry for the first half-hour, it does have a lot of what you look for in an eighties FX picture so it's worth checking out if that's your bag - and you're reading this so I assume it is.

Dec 27th Horror Trivia Screening List

To all those who came here from the event or Storm Crow's FB page, welcome! I am Jay, one half of the horror trivia quizmasters and this is my humble blog. Hope you all had a Merry Christmas or what-have-you.

If you heard a title while at the last event and thought “oh that movie sounds cool, I should check that out”, here's a selected list of films that were mentioned. Click on the titles to be redirected to their Imdb listing.

Horror Trivia Night happens at Storm Crow Manor in Toronto. If you're in the area, come on down! Register here. If you're not local, we do sometimes stream the event on @ruemorguemag Instagram

Totally Killer (2023)

Kingdom of the Spiders (1977)

Creepies (2004)

Arachnophobia (1990)

Eight Legged Freaks (2002)

Rituals (1977)

Doctor Butcher MD (1980)

Eaten Alive (1976)

The Gates of Hell (1980)

Burial Ground (1981)

Four Flies on Grey Velvet (1971)

Body Parts (1991)

Green Room (2015)

Blue Sunshine (1977)

Under The Skin (2013)

Crimson Peak (2015)

Bone Tomahawk (2015)

Raw (2016)

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019)

The Visit (2015)

Sep 27 Horror Trivia Screening List

To all those who came here from the event or the FB page, welcome! I am Jay, one half of the horror trivia quizmasters and this is my humble blog.

If you heard a title while at the last event and thought “oh that movie sounds cool, I should check that out”, here's a comprehensive list of all the films that were mentioned. Click on the titles to be redirected to their Imdb listing.

For everyone else, maybe there's one or two here you have yet to catch. Horror Trivia Night happens at Storm Crow Manor twice monthly in Toronto. If you're in the area, come on down! Register here. If you're not local, we do often stream the event on @ruemorguemag Instagram.

Blood Rage (1987)

Channel Zero: Candle Cove (2016)

Shivers (1975)

Silver Bullet (1985)

The Strangers (2008)

The Strangers: Prey At Night (2018)

The Devil's Rain (1975)

Critters 3 (1991)

Phenomena (1985)

Halloween 6 (1995)

Children of the Corn III (1995)

Children of the Corn IV (1996)

Children of the Corn V (1998)

He Knows You're Alone (1980)

The Orphanage (2007)

Society (1989)

Terrified (2017)

Night of the Creeps (1986)

High Tension (2003)

Inside (2007)

Frontiers (2007)

Martyrs (2008)

Wolf Creek (2005)

Horror Movie Guide: Bloodsucking Freaks

The next title in the Guide was the infamous 1976 movie Bloodsucking Freaks aka The Incredible Torture Show. Despite its colorful title, I’d never seen this one until now and strangely knew what to expect, and yet also didn’t expect what I saw if that makes any sense.

A sadistic showman named Sardu (Seamus O’Brien) disguises his white slavery operation as an off-Broadway production that performs shocking theatre shows in the vein of the old Grand Guignol, except unbeknownst to his audience; his public torture displays are real.

A thing I kept coming back to while watching this was, “this came out in 1976"? People actually went to a theatre and sat through the whole thing? I mean, I don't want to act like I was pearl clutching throughout this movie, but I certainly wasn’t prepared for the quantity of depravity. It just. Never. Lets. Up.

Sure, it’s over the top and clearly not supposed to be taken seriously, but how many times can you see a naked woman tortured before it becomes legitimately macabre? Reading that sentence back is so odd, but then again - so is this movie.

On the surface, it feels like a natural successor to H.G. Lewis’ Blood Trilogy, but I feel Bloodsucking Freaks would have made even him blush. Lewis’ oeuvre felt like a logical extension of his earlier “nudie-cuties", but adding gore as a gimmick. He was a businessman. Director Joel M. Reed seems to be getting off on all this. Either that or he just white-boarded every terrible thing he could think of to do the female body and put it onscreen.

And speaking of which, where did he find all these actresses? I can understand finding a handful of game ladies to be in your Z-grade torture film, but there's like two-dozen who show up over its eighty-plus minute run time. It’s a literal parade of full frontal trauma. I don’t know, maybe they all wear that Imdb credit like a badge of honour now.

I can see the influence of Bloodsucking Freaks though. I recalled Eli Roth’s Hostel in the reverie of the torture scenes, and headless blowjobs and teeth extractions for said sex act were shocking when they appeared in High Tension and A Serbian Film decades later so I can't imagine the reaction they got in the late seventies. Again, this played in public in ’76?

Based on its subject matter alone, a cult following seemed inevitable and would have definitely peaked the interest of Lloyd Kaufman at Troma - who ended up releasing it on home video, even without the blessing of the MPAA, which is such a Lloyd thing to do.

Luis De Jesus & Seamus O'Brien as Ralphus and Sardu in Bloodsucking Freaks.

Bloodsucking Freaks was the first film in the Guide that they saw fit to award No Stars. Objectively, I can’t disagree. It has very little merit, and though there are scenes that you can’t help but chuckle at their absurdity – like the lobotomy sundae for instance – it’s the sheer collective despair that broke the sex slave's back. Wikipedia lists all of its grievous acts and it literally takes up an entire paragraph.

On the other hand, if you’re going to be labeled "one of the most controversial pictures of all time” and actually own it, that’s gotta mean something too, right?

Come Get Some!

Yes, this is a rare post about a new release. It doesn't happen very often these days, but once every few years (Halloween 2018, The Sadness) I feel compelled to type out some thoughts on the film of the hour. That film today is Lee Cronin's new Evil Dead flick.

I had a lot of fun with this one, much more than I did with Fede Alvarez's 2013 remake. Looking back on my review from ten years ago, I was perhaps a little harsh. For what it was, it was fine, but Cronin's offering is a much stronger piece and I think a legitimately good horror movie. 

Predominantly, I wager this is due to the likeable cast of characters. Apart from Jane Levy and Jessica Lucas (bless her) I didn't give a rat's ass about anyone in the remake, but here, this crew was just a nice family that unfortunately DJ'd their way into tragedy. All the performances are solid, especially Aussie Alyssa Sutherland as the matriarch-turned Deadite - do we still call them that? She brings a tremendous physicality to the role, adding pinches of The Joker and Pennywise into her portrayal to really make it sing. Some of her line deliveries really got the crowd going.  

I think the fresh location (a soon to be knocked down apartment complex) really helps this movie, as well. While it is mainly confined to one floor, thus not going full Demons 2 as I had hoped, they still utilize the environment to the fullest. And not unlike the new Hellraiser, the filmmakers found interesting ways to expand the lore, in addition to keeping the effects as practical as possible.

 

Speaking of which, Evil Dead Rise is very bloody. VERY bloody. An estimated count of 1,700 gallons of blood seems low in comparison to the remake's apparent count of 70,000. Although, Cronin did say that due to the pandemic, blood shortages caused them to have re-use it as much as possible. Can you imagine? I kept thinking about that during the final act, man the actors really earned their pay on that stretch of the shoot. Great stuff.  

Lily Sullivan as Beth in Evil Dead Rise

Evil Dead Rise is just well put together, with good pacing, particularly once the blood hits the fan. All of the callbacks to the original trilogy - of which there are many - felt earned and not simply fan service. Additionally, there are many other classics to which Cronin pays homage, including The Shining and Aliens - the latter heavily in the climax, even down to the Horner infused score.

I think my only knock on this movie is that the bookend sequences seemed unnecessary. I imagine it served as a doorway to make more Evil Dead films, but those scenes seemed a tad clunky in contrast to the main story. A minor gripe.

Lastly, I've been thinking about why Rise works so much better than its 2013 counterpart, even rhough they share almost exactly the same tone. Perhaps it was just expectation. A decade ago, the marketers decided to plaster “THE MOST TERRIFYING THING EVER” on their posters (it wasn't), while Cronin's crew instead focused on the family element that just happens to be one of the main strengths of the piece. Oh, and they gave us cheese graters after the movie...

So, yes. I approve of this latest Evil Dead film. It was a lot of fun to see with a crowd, and if you feel so inclined I recommend you do the same. 

Horror Movie Guide: Blackenstein

The next movie in the Guide was one I know I definitely wouldn't have watched if it wasn't listed in these pages; William A Levey's 1973 flick Blackenstein.

A young doctor named Winnifred (Ivory Stone) asks her scientist mentor Dr. Stein (John Hart) to help her boyfriend Eddie (Joe de Sue) who lost all his limbs in Vietnam. Stein uses his experimental DNA serum on him and well, I'm sure you can guess the rest.

Blackenstein's setup was actually better than I was expecting. Rather than just lifting the entire storyline from the 1931 version, they use experimental gene therapy as the catalyst. And electricity too, for some reason. I mean shit, if you had access to the same lab equipment from the original movie, wouldn't you work it in? It definitely makes those scenes look like a bigger budget production than the rest of it. 

I love they felt they needed to clarify the title to the audience. Eddie sure has it rough in this movie. Not only is he berated by an orderly with the worst bedside manner I've seen since Annie Wilkes, when he's finally going to be cured, everything gets fucked up by Stein's creepo assistant Malcolm (Roosevelt Jackson). Fucking Malcolm, man. I was like, are you seriously telling me this entire movie happens because of a fucking cock block. Damn, that's harsh. 

Joe de Sue as Eddie in Blackenstein

I thought the theme song by Cardella Di Milo slapped, which is good because they certainly get their money's worth out of it. She literally performs it at a night club while peeps are being murdered outside in the alley. The last half is pretty much Blackenstein ripping up people in the city, going back to his cell and then rinse, repeat. I was a little shocked/surprised/disappointed it only took a couple of Dobermans to take him down at the end. Oh well, maybe they ran out of money.

Blackenstein isn't the worst way to kill 78 minutes. It's certainly better than Levey's 1989 movie Hellgate. The Guide however, did not concur.

A Wolf In Creep's Clothing.

This week's VHS was 1995's Project: Metalbeast. I'm nearing the bottom of the pile, as evidenced by this merchant copy complete with hole-punched barcode and intermittent burn-in's of “for screening purposes only”.

An unstable CIA agent (John Marzilli) who injected himself with werewolf blood is cryogenically frozen for 20 years and then thawed out for use in military experiments involving synthesized skin. It doesn't go well.

You know, I was in good shape at the start of this movie because I knew that Project: Metalbeast could not possibly as awful as the trailer that proceeded it for Paul Rodriguez's dramedy(?) A Million To Juan. Man, the shit they put out on tape in the nineties. The eighties I understand, but we should've had the hang of this by '95.

Anyhoops, Metalbeast starts off with musician Conrad Pope doing his best Elfman impression, giving us some overly dramatic music during the opening credits. Then, enter a pretty decent looking - or at least way better than I would have expected - werewolf. Until the aforementioned CIA agent with a haircut you could set your watch to, blows it away with silver bullets. After extracting its blood, he makes the completely rational decision to inject himself with it. goes haywire and is then put on ice by his boss, Barry Bostwick.

-“It shrinks?” -“Like a frightened turtle!”

More than some of this movie is a bore, which is why I actually nodded off in the middle. It's actually unusually quiet in the second act, while science people do science things. And complain several times about having to eat PB&J sandwiches. Hey, fuck you dude. I've literally eaten ten PB&J's a week for decades and still love 'em to death. Thankfully, the eventual screams and death snapped me back into consciousness.

As you might have guessed, the metal skin somehow gets on werewolf dude and viola - METALBEAST. And he looks pretty badass, even though every time he was onscreen I wanted to yell, “Fuck you Honey Badger” like in that Love, Death & Robots episode. What's funny is there's a shot of it walking down a hallway and I thought to myself, “hey that guy walks like Kane Hodder”.

Turns out it was actually Kane Fucking Hodder! Until he gets exploded with a silver rocket. Lastly, Kim Delaney was looking pretty hot in this and I'm glad she booked her role on NYPD Blue shortly after so no one was tempted to make a Metalbeast 2.

Dog's Breakfast

This week's VHS was one I've had for a while, but only now just got around to watching. Those familiar with crusty video store horror sections will no doubt remember this coverbox from back in the day.

A widow (Bennie Lee McGowan) and an out-of-towner (Patrick Wayne) investigate a maniacal cult that has been murdering people in the area.

Wow, Revenge stinks. I knew that it was a Z-grade SOV flick going in, but I thought Wayne and John Carradine might have been able to elevate it somewhat. It turns out I didn't know what I was walking into. At the hop, I was almost immediately reminded of Blood Cult and, until a few seconds ago, didn't realize that this movie was actually its sequel. It even has some of the same characters, but Blood Cult was such a fucking bore that I'd completely wiped it from my memory.

I'm bewildered by the fact that Wayne and Carradine signed on to this. Had they not watched director Chris Lewis' previous two movies?? I mean, to be fair, Wayne pretty much one-notes his way through and Carradine, bless him, I don't think he ever turned down a role in his life. I think I may have caught him reading his lines offscreen a time or two. 

The only one with any gusto in this, apart from Peter Hart - who had a German accent which makes for scenery chewing by default - was McGowan as the shotgun-toting farm owner Gracie. After her husband gets offed in one of the most hilarious pre-death moments in history...

...she teams up with Wayne to fight against the evil forces that mean to drive her from her property. As I'm typing this, I'm realizing that although not much happens, it's at least a lot more than its predecessor - if my 2016 post is to be believed. There's that scene where Wayne's “classy” squinty-eyed sister gets roasted by telekinesis, cuz that's a power this cult has, but only uses that one time for some reason. Then, there's that birdwatcher that mercifully gets hacked to death to avoid her friend's embarrassing steak(?) and eggs. Like WTF is that?

The motorcycle rider from Nail Gun Massacre shows up at points to harass McGowan, and also, in an amusing turn, disciples of the cult argue about the expanded recruitment because they are running out of ceremonial robes and dog amulets. You know, for a movie as shitty as it is, I saw a lot of firsts last night.

You know, it's been donkey's years since I saw The Ripper, but I recall the gore being pretty decent. Was Tom Savini helping out on that one, because the gore was really lacking here. It's either offscreen, super close-up or clumsily shot. It's frustrating because it would have made a big difference. 555 is a pile of shit, but those kills are impressive.

So yeah terrible movie, but I talked about it twice as much as Blood Cult so that's something, right? 

V is for Victims! (1985)

This was just a coverbox from my memory that just happened to be on YouTube.

Four young women on a geology(!) field trip in the desert are stalked by a pair of sadistic bank robbers.

Whoa, this movie was something else. A woman takes an axe to the head in the first minute. Then, almost immediately another completely unrelated naked woman gets murdered in bed. THEN, a dude dressed as an old lady stabs a woman in the back in broad daylight. So trashy was the violence on display, it would have made H.G. Lewis blush.

It was at this point I was wondering if this entire film was just clips of murder scenarios. I mean, Victims! did little to dissuade me, as it took almost twenty minutes to offer up any kind of protagonists, or even actual dialogue. This was the opposite of yesterday's movie; almost no exposition. Scenes just kind of happened and sometimes didn't even finish before cutting to the next “scene”.

I cannot undersell how cheap this movie looked. Disregard that it was shot on 16mm, the threadbare story, awful sound - you can hear a lawnmower in the background during one scene - and again that editing should be enough to unhinge your jaw. I noticed on Imdb that director Jeff Hathcock also did 1986's Night Ripper and that makes so much fucking sense. And that movie is somehow a sizable step up from this.

Shot from just beyond where the mic can properly pick up dialogue.

You know, it always boggles my mind how they got actresses for these movies back in the day. Like, I can't imagine these were high paying (if at all) gigs so Hathcock somehow convinced four(!) women to go into the desert for two weeks to recreate a shittier version of I Spit on Your Grave. What a world... 

Having said all that, for the next week I will definitely be asking every horror hound I know if they have seen this. Just for the tan lines alone. Now, THOSE were scary.

Those aren't panties, folks.

P is for Phantom of the Opera (1998)

With the upcoming Dario Argento retrospective coming up at The Revue, it seemed fitting to watch one of the few titles in his filmography that I had not yet seen.

A man (Julian Sands) raised by rats and living in the tunnels underneath a Paris opera house becomes infatuated by a young understudy named Christine (Asia Argento).

Don't ask me why I never got around to seeing this movie until now. Probably the same reason I haven't watched his version of Dracula. Because most people say it is ass. However, if I had known the Phantom was raised by sentient rats, I would have imbibed sooner. Phantom of the Opera ain't that bad.

Julian Sands & Asia Argento in Phantom of the Opera.

I was surprised by the budget of this picture, as it looked like it may have cost the most out of Dario's entire catalogue. That wide shot of the packed theatre was pretty impressive and set the tone. Seeing Ennio Morricone's name in the credits was a nice perk, and the opera pieces in the film really classed things up.

The pacing, at least for the first two acts, was pretty good. Every time it started to get up its own ass, Dario would have the Phantom rip out a would-be thief's tongue or disembowel a filthy pedo. He's the hero for most of it, until he gets all creepy with Asia. I forgot about the unfortunately high percentage of her being ravaged in her father's movies. Oh yeah, then there's that rat catching machine...

This was Argento's period piece and it felt pretty authentic, except for that note passed to Christine that looked like it was written on paper bought at Staples. He also adds some additional flourishes like Christine and the Phantom's shared telepathy and him not wearing a mask - despite the poster. Can't cover that money moneymaker! And, there's that scene in a brothel for the requisite T, A & even D.

Phantom of the Opera is definitely in the bottom half of Argento's filmography, but it's still a nice looking and competent telling of a timeless tale.

N is for The Nest (1987)

When Lisa Langlois was at Horror-rama, she talked about this film and I was reminded that I had never actually seen it. So I dug deep into “the pile” and pulled out the DVD with that instantly recognizable cover art.

Sheriff Johnson (Richard Lansing) and old flame Elizabeth (Lisa Langlois) battle super cockroaches on the picturesque island of North Port.

The Nest was a typical Roger Corman joint. This Piranha template (which was lifted from Jaws, the granddaddy of all animal attack pictures) was utilized many times over his career from Up From The Depths to Humanoids From the Deep. Speaking of the latter, I'm pretty sure that truck driving off the bridge scene in The Nest was lifted from HFTD. Oh well, I guess at least the lead actresses should be thankful the cockroaches weren't as amourous as the the cover would have you believe.

Richard Lansing and Lisa Langlois in The Nest.

The first half of the movie is pretty standard, as we see roach-POV shots chomping their way up from cats & dogs to people. We get introduced to the characters, some of which are garbage humans like Dr. Hubbard (Terri Treas) who wasted no time announcing themselves as the villain. Oh sure, she'll say her misdeeds are in the name of science, but this chick is clearly a masochist. Or is a sadist? I get them mixed up. Langlois has talked at length about her bad experiences filming this picture, but she does her job like a pro.

To be honest, this movie doesn't get good until the third act, when all the gnarly creature effects appear. Though there are no giant cockroaches, there are some pretty awesome hybrids, including a cat and the Queen, which gave me Blair-Thing vibes. Cockroaches are gross to be sure, but the hybrid effects here by James Navarra are truly top notch.

Overall, The Nest didn't knock my socks off, but I'm glad I can cross it off the list.