In addition to the usual reviews and comments you would find on a horror movie blog, this is also a document of the wonderfully vast horror movie section of the video store I worked at in my youth.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Reflections Of Evil

You remember before when I was talking about the dangers of a queue? Well, I got dinged again last weekend. A movie called Reflections Of Evil showed up at my door and I had no idea where it had come from.

This is the only pic. Thank me later.

After a credit sequence with a young woman in a pink nightgown wandering the streets aimlessly, I was immediately treated to a 400 lb. man (well, actually a 200 lb. man with a couple of pillows shoved up his shirt to make him look 400 lbs) violently throwing up on the sidewalk. Aw, crap! I can only blame myself on this one, considering whichever site turned me onto this piece of garbage is a long, forgotten memory. The next ninety minutes was basically footage of said fat ass walking around L.A. trying to sell cheap watches, intercut with him shovelling food into his disgusting maw.

Reflections of Evil is a downright mess. There are parts that are so incoherent, it was like I was watching it on 1.5x speed (I swear I wasn’t…. honest). The overdubbing was so ridiculous, it was almost disembodied. I kept looking down at the bottom right of the screen to see if the MST3K silhouettes were there. I don’t think even those guys would have appreciated this movie. If I were to ever come across someone who actually liked it, I’m sure they would tell me that the incoherence was intentional to set up the conclusion. Even if that were true, the hackneyed ending doesn’t even slightly redeem the psychotic narrative.

How many times do I have to say this? If you have enough material to make an interesting ten to twenty minute short, please don’t stretch it out to feature length. You are wasting everyone’s time! Only twice during this movie did I not have one eye on the clock. The first was an inexplicable flashback sequence where the pink nightgown girl sneaks onto the Universal Studios backlot and sees a young Steven Spielberg at work. The only thing noteworthy about this is that the actor they got to be Spielberg actually looked and sounded like the man himself. The other part that was when a series of rides at an amusement park malfunction, throwing bloody mannequins everywhere.

AVOID THIS MOVIE! I have no idea how you would ever come into contact with something like this, but just in case. Heed my words! I took a bullet on this one. Don’t let my sacrifice (of an hour and a half that could have been spent playing Guitar Hero III) be in vain.

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