This week's VHS is Clyde Anderson aka
Claudio Fragasso's 1984 effort Monster Dog.
A pop star (Alice Cooper) returns to
his hometown to shoot a music video only to find it has been overrun
by wild dogs – and perhaps something else even more ferocious.
I'm sad to say that this is movie ain't
so hot. I mean it was the man who gave us
best worst movie Troll 2 after all, but Dog was nowhere close as amusing as
that was. I am going to reserve full judgment on this though as I may
have dozed off for a bit in the middle and, according to Imdb, the
studio re-cut Fragasso's movie for the US release.
My main criticism remains that it
needed more Monster Dog. I got the feeling that there were a lot of
cool gags planned, but despite the reputable talents of Carlo De Marchis, it would appear there was a
discrepancy between the shop and the set. I unfortunately had to wait until
the end to see something half decent happen.
He's a guide dog by day. |
I feel like this was such a weird
project for Alice Cooper. Apparently, it was the first project he
took after going sober and – like so many performers before him –
probably thought that it would never be seen outside of Spain. He was
painfully reserved in this movie and I couldn't tell whether it was
his choice or lack of direction from Fragasso. If Cooper had chewed the
scenery there would have at least been some Nic Cage-style
satisfaction in it.
As with Night Train To Terror and
Killer Party, Monster Dog opens with a catchy musical number. Not
only was this the most entertaining part of the movie, but it was the only time that Cooper's actual voice was used, as the rest of the
audio – in true Euro B-movie fashion – was dubbed. The filmmakers
must have liked the song too because they played the whole thing
over again at the end!
Sometimes I feel like Jack the Rii-iipper! |
Monster Dog's only real positive was
that it was well shot. I don't know if cinematographer José García
Galisteo was channeling Dean Semler (namely Razorback, coincidentally
also released in late 1984), but his use of light and fog was really
striking, even on my muddy VHS. It gave me something to latch onto as
I watched drawn out scenes of people wandering around in between shots of listless canines.
So yeah, not a winner. But hey, at
least it has a cool cover, right?
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