Storm Crow June Trivia, Screenshot Round

Joan of the Ants!

The next tape on the pile was the last of my Shock Stock acquisitions, and one I have been meaning to dig into for a long time. It was almost the “E” in my Alphabet Slop back in 2022, but I couldn't find it then so I went with a re-watch of The Entity. The film I am now speaking of is the 1977 animals attack entry Empire of the Ants.

Visitors to an island are attacked by giant ants mutated from a toxic waste dump.

All I can hear when I look at that coverbox above is that classic movie trailer voice saying SEE! Joan Collins terrorized by giant ants! They really knew what they were selling here, didn't they? But I guess nothing has really changed. Our movie begins with a discount David Attenborough voiceover explaining how smart and sophisticated ants are, and God forbid they turn on us. CUT to a bunch of guys in suits (apparently left over from another AIP picture Futureworld) dumping toxic waste barrels into the ocean. What could go wrong?

We are then introduced to our cast of characters who all travel to a Floridian island to partake in a free day out while Joan Collins tries to con them into a time share for a soon-to-be built resort called Dreamland Shores. Among them are - wait hold up, is that Pamela Susan Shoop?! What a delightful surprise! My seven-year-old self - whose first real experience with cinematic boobies was courtesy of the hot tub scene in Halloween II - was definitely winking at me from the past.

Pamela Susan Shoop in Empire of the Ants

Anyway, it's not long before the mutated ants are crawling all over our unfortunate cast. Even though I guess it is inferred on the cover, I wondered whether I was going to get giant ants or just smart ants like in Phase IV. Okay, giant ants it is! And you know, the compositing and miniatures aren't terrible in this movie, or at least the shots where there aren't people in the frame. And the Ant-Vision was a gas.

I do have to wonder why Joan Collins was in this, as she was a pretty big star at this point. Not Dynasty mega-star yet, but certainly someone I would have thought could choose their roles. Those swamp scenes looked particularly unpleasant and I can't imagine what was going through her head while filming them. What a presence though!

Those cheekbones could cut glass!

The story is expectedly simple and moves along like most titles of its ilk, but I was surprised when our survivors made it out of the swamp and into (relative) civilization with a half-hour to go. Not being familiar with the H.G. Wells story (which apparently this doesn't follow anyway) I had no idea there was a whole hive mind control subplot. And to my surprise, Joan herself wound up being ant food. I mean true, she was a swindler and what I suppose would qualify as the villain of this story, but the punishment did not fit the crime.

From the mish-mash of disposable characters to the parade of old-timey effects, Empire of the Ants was a fun yarn all around. And for once, the coverbox delivered on its promise! I did see Joan scream and look still look beautiful...

Corridor of Horror

One of my long-time favourite channels on YouTube has been Corridor Crew. This plucky group of Los Angeles based VFX animators have been making content for decades, and what got me into them was their weekly reaction videos to effects from all walks of popular media. This week's edition featured the great FX artist Alec Gillis. And though I was sad they didn't cover his work on Deadly Eyes (yes, you know I will never leave an opportunity to mention that movie on the table) he goes into great depth about his other work in the genre, including Friday 4, Alien 3 and the sad saga of the 2011 iteration of The Thing. Check it out below.

May Horror Trivia Watchlist

To all those who came here from the event or the FB or Instagram page, welcome! I am Jay, one half of the horror trivia quizmasters and this is my humble blog. Here's a selected list of titles mentioned at the last event. Click on the titles to be redirected to their Imdb listing. Horror Trivia Night happens at Storm Crow Manor in Toronto. If you're in the area, come on down! Register here.

Race with the Devil (1975)

Milk & Serial (2024)

Arachnophobia (1990)

Critters 2 (1988)

Silver Bullet (1985)

House (1985)

The Sender (1982)

Lady in White (1988)

Bad Dreams (1988)

The Deadly Spawn (1984)

Witchfinder General (1968)

The Blood on Satan's Claw (1971)

The Wicker Man (1973)

The Wicker Tree (2011)

Antrum: The Deadliest Film Ever Made (2018)

Children of the Corn (1984)

The Witch (2015)

Demons (1985)

Demons 2 (1986)

Giallo (2009)

Zombie 5: Killing Birds (1988)

Stagefright (1987)

The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (1970)

The Cat o' Nine Tails (1971)

Four Flies on Grey Velvet (1971)

Phenomena (1985)

Bay of Blood (1971)

Suspiria (2018)

Shock (1977)

Storm Crow Trivia, Guess The Movie Round.

ACAB '90

The next tape off the pile was the 1990 crime thriller Street Asylum.

No nonsense cop Arliss Ryder (Wings Hauser) joins a new police strike force tasked with cleaning up the streets - by any means necessary.

I think I had heard of this film, but I think I subconsciously linked it with Class of 1999 because their coverboxes are eerily similar, and as it turns out so are their plots with both featuring public servants altered to combat perceived criminals. It's also kind of like Dead Heat, but with implanted aggression instead of zombification. 

However, no matter whatever way you look at this, there is no getting around that this movie is ACAB before ACAB. It's a tad disillusioning when you watch these movies from thirty or fourty years ago and you're hearing lines like, “Strike force or Gestapo?” and it's still relevant today. Just once, I'd like to watch one of these movies and think, “Remember when this was a thing?” instead of the usual “things never change”. Imagine walking into that the briefing room for S.Q.U.A.D (Scum Quelling Urban Assault Division) and seeing this...

But I digress. Aside from that, Street Asylum, which is kind of an obtuse name now that I think about it, was a pretty chaotic affair. It's full of a lot of flash editing, crazy characters - some welcome, like Brion James as a street preacher and some not so, like Hauser's one-time partner Joker (Sy Richardson) who literally almost chewed his way through my television screen - dominatrices, Jesus antenna, Terminator guns, and sax, sax and more sax. 

Wings Hauser & Alex Cord in Street Asylum.

The cast is pretty stacked with offbeat actors as in addition to the aforementioned Jones & Hauser, you also have Alex Cord. Man, was there anyone who could deliver cheesy lines as smoothly as Alex Cord? And I do have to say there were a few cool stunts in this, like old school where you wonder if they shot them while the safety co-ordinator was on lunch break. At the end of the day though, if you want to watch a crime-ridden Wings Hauser joint, you are better off with Gary Sherman's Vice Squad. I get what director Gregory Dark - who had quite the interesting career that started in porn, moved to erotic thrillers and then spanned the next few decades directing music videos for pretty much every artist on the planet - was going for, but he's no Gary Sherman. Duh-doom.

Watched A Movie, Lived To Tell.

The next movie off the pile was a recent acquisition and, enticingly, one I knew nothing about in William J. Murray's 1986 sci-fi noir Primal Scream.

Private detective Corby McHale (Kenneth McGregor) gets wrapped up in a conspiracy involving a space mining corporation and a newly discovered (and dangerously unstable) element called Hellfire. 

This movie is an odd duck, man. I'm having difficulty knowing where to start, though I guess the beginning is as good a place as any. That's easier said than done, as it just drops you right in the middle of an action scene causing some severe whiplash. To be fair, I guess A New Hope did the same thing, but at least they gave you some screen-high expositional crawls beforehand.

I feel I need to mention that no one should've been surprised that this newly discovered element caused people to spontaneously combust. I mean, it IS called Hellfire for fuck's sake. If memory serves, they found it on Saturn, but despite what the coverbox would suggest, that is the only time this movie takes place in space.

Movie magic!

Once we got introduced to Corby, I was immediately like, "Hey, isn't that the principal from The Brain?" It was. Which made me immediately think this might be Canadian, because there were a lot of accents and locations that could've been Ontario, not to mention a bonkers plot that screamed 80s tax shelter. Upon further investigation I found that it was shot in Atlantic City. It makes sense, guys like Bill Fruet and Ed Hunt made chaotic movies, but at least it was controlled chaos. This movie is like Pandora's box, a whirlwind of villain eyebrows, bed skewering, lip band-aids and characters with names like Nicky Fingers.

Kenneth McGregor as Corby McHale in Primal Scream

I was never able to nail down what genre Primal Scream was supposed to be. I guess it's a crime noir mostly, or at least that's the distinct impression I got from all the sax in Mark Knox's score. However, once and a while, a spacecraft (or rather a 1/16 scale model of a spacecraft) or killer drone (prophetic!) would show up to remind me this was supposed(?) to be a science fiction movie, ala Blade Runner. At the very least, I got to see a few people get burnt to a crisp in spectacularly, practical fashion. 

There's not a lot of info out there about Primal Scream, because Googling mostly brings up the Scottish rock band. There is a doc made by the filmmakers, which I would love to see, but until then all my burning questions will remain unanswered. 

Now, did I fall asleep the first time I watched this movie? Yes. Did I almost fall asleep again when I tried to finish it the next day? Yes. But I still deeply admire the ambition of the filmmakers who were way out of their league, but soldiered on anyway!