Stop Me If You've Heard This One.

Next up is a movie I'd never heard of until my jaunt to the flea market last month, in Turi Meyers' direct-to-video effort Sleepstalker: The Sandman's Last Rites.

A serial killer dubbed The Sandman (Michael Harris) rises from the dead after his execution to go after the boy that got away. 

So there is a lot of sand in this movie. I mean, it's about a dude named The Sandman, but they really doubled down, nay tripled down, on the sand angle. The entire opening takes place in the desert and while the credits unfurled, I wondered if I hadn't put my tape of Dust Devil in by accident. No, I thought. This guy traipsing through the dunes didn't look nearly as cool as Robert Burke did. But I digress. One thing that did pump me up during this very sedate opening was the appearance of Gary Tunnicliffe's name. At least the effects would be good, right? RIGHT?

Shortly after, Jimmie Olsen and his wife get murdered by some weird serial murderer who recites nursery rhymes as he sprinkles sand in their eyes. For reals. However, before he can kill the son, the cops arrive and off him. Then, it eventually becomes apparent that this movie is really just NOES or Shocker or The Horror Show or The First Power, with a psycho using supernatural forces to come back from the dead to kill again. Which is fine, except Sleepstalker is not anywhere near as cool as any of those other films.

How many movies did you say have this plot?

While this movie does a have a whole bunch of fun supporting characters (which is at least an improvement over last week's title The Rain Killer), Ken Foree & Michael D. Roberts among them - man this would've been quite the dud without those two cats - the above the line cast are kind of mediocre. Michael Harris as The Sandman can't hold a candle to Mitch Pileggi or Brion James, and the lead Jay Underwood is severly lacking in charisma. Kathryn Morris as Megan is decent and pretty much the only one who gets to do a cool stunt at the very end of the movie.

This is not the look of a leading man.

I can't help but feel that the Sandman, which let's face it is ripped off from Marvel Comics, should be a lot cooler than it actually is. Despite the fact we get treated to some sweet nineties CGI for the times that real sand won't suffice, the character itself has many weaknesses, including sunlight, water and fire. Sure, he can fit through a keyhole, but that seems like a lot of disadvantages.

I could go on about some of the implausible subplots, like our whitest of whitebread hero's attempt to win a Pulitzer with a tell-all book about life on the streets, but it's really not worth the effort. Is this movie the worst ever? No, it's mildly entertaining, and may have been what got Meyers the gig directing Candyman 3 down the line, but I'd also say your time could be better served watching (or rewatching) those aformentioned titles instead. Or catch some Z's. Do want you want, I'm not your mom! Anyway, check back next week for my last serial killer yarn of the month.