Al Gore Quietly Nods.

My latest On The Shelf pick is the Canadian horror flick The Thaw.


A group of students arrive at an Arctic research station to find the camp empty. Almost immediately, some of the team becomes infected with a prehistoric parasite that was recently uncovered by the expedition.

The Thaw is a good effort that is held together by solid performances all round. It’s one of those movies that had me scratching imaginary itches throughout, as stories about creepy crawlies are apt to do. This movie has quite a lot in common with Larry Fessenden's 2006 The Last Winter and although Winter had a lot more weight to it, Thaw wins out overall because its last reel doesn't go down the shitter, like the former title’s unfortunately did. There is some dodgy CG, but some good practical effects counteract them. I mentioned the performances, but I should also say there were a few golden lines that may or may not have been intentionally comical. It's hard for me to hold back a snicker if your character says stuff like, “that means I'm gonna die with these fucking bugs in my dick!”

Owwwwwwwwwwwwww!

I wonder if Aaron Ashmore, after seeing his twin brother Shawn in The Ruins actually set out to look for a similar project. The locales are different, but they are both essentially isolation man vs. nature stories. I think Shawn won out in terms of favourable shooting locations though, wouldn't you say? I found Val Kilmer's appearance in this rather odd. It is not that he wasn't in it that much because he was – this is not one of those random cameos like Gary Busey in the dreadful A Crack In The Floor – it was just that he seemed fairly inconsequential. Anybody could have played his role, but I guess having him onboard would have made the project easier to sell.

The Thaw works because it has an air of plausibility. I mean sure it's unlikely, but the ice up there IS melting. We know that now. So, who’s to say that there isn't something nasty just lying in wait? I'll take a zombie apocalypse over the scenario put forth by the Thaw any day of the week.

Bring on 2010!

This morning, DirtyRobot dropped a link on me for the new Nerdcore 2010 Calendar. This year’s theme is horror, and much like their previous issues – which featured lovely ladies re-enacting scenes from science fiction and superheroes & villans – this one is pretty… stimulating.

For a look at some of the other months, you can check out i09, Shocktilyoudrop or Destructoid. And if you’d like to drop the twenty-five bones to grab your own un-bespectacled calendar, you can click here. Ah, horror and gratuitous nudity. They go together like peanut butter and jelly, don’t they?

Memories in 4 x 7.

So, we're in October now, which I'm sure you are shocked to hear is my favourite month. I'll be doing Coverbox Wednesdays for the next four weeks, leading up to the big day. Call it BOXTOBER, if you will. Sorry, that's all I could come up with. Anywaaaay...

Repent Your Sins.

Blood River is the newest film by the diabolical duo of Adam Mason and Simon Boyes. I missed it at this year’s Fantasia Festival and was glad to recently get my hands on a screener.


After Clark (Ian Duncan) & Summer (Tess Panzer) find themselves stranded while driving across the Nevadan desert, they meet up with a drifter named Joseph (Andrew Howard) who is quick to offer help, but may have other motives in mind.

First off, Blood River looks fantastic. This is Mason’s most visually ambitious film to date. With his previous efforts confined to small areas, River is the complete antithesis of that. It actually reminded me a lot of Richard Stanley’s 1992 film Dust Devil, although this is a tad more coherent than that was. I’m always impressed with films that can hold my interest when only using a few characters. It takes a special kind of writer (or in this case, writers) to do that. What I found even more intriguing was the shifts in control between Clark, Summer and Joseph. It gave the movie a lot more depth than I was initially expecting. The performance of Andrew Howard is really the strength of River though. We glimpsed his range in 2006’s The Devil’s Chair, but here he is completely set free. He has an ability to go from helpful stranger to frothing mad dog at the drop of a beat-up old cowboy hat.

Do not fuck with this man.

The only real criticism I can offer is that Summer was a bit too trusting for a good deal longer than she should have been, but that’s a minor qualm. I also wasn’t crazy about the ending at first, though I think it’s growing on me. If it had been spelled out, it might not have stuck with me for as long as it did.

Blood River is yet another title in this current swing of pitch black films from the British. For a while, it seemed our English imports – like Shaun Of The Dead, Severance & Evil Aliens – were heavy on the comedy. However, coming on their heels are unabashedly extreme outings like The Descent, Eden Lake & The Children. I wonder what the cause of this is? Could it be indicative of the climate in the UK, or perhaps the nasty attitudes of French horror cinema have made their way across the Channel? Though I guess that should have no bearing on Mason & Boyes as they are now living in the States and frankly, have always been maniacs. If you’ve seen their previous works, you know they don’t fuck around. While it is true that The Devil’s Chair had some dark comedy in it, it was only to butter you up for when they hit you with the last act.

Blood River might not be for some with its slow pace and somewhat ambiguous nature, but I think this is definitely their strongest effort yet. If you listen to Mason & Boyes’ podcast on Twitch, you know how many irons they have in the fire right now and I’m looking forward to each and every one of them.

40 Years Of Absurdity!

Happy Fourtieth Anniversary Monty Python! Thanks for keeping me laughing all these years!

Don't Kill The Messenger XXXI

Got some important stuff to do today (and by stuff, I mean some Uncharted 2 multiplayer demo action), so I'll keep the intro brief. Here's some bits I thought were noteworthy this week.

Blu-Tips.

There's a show on the Revision 3 network called HD Nation, which basically showcases all things high definition. During last week's episode, Ryan Connolly from Film Riot (another show on the network about DIY filmmaking tactics) dropped by to list his top horror Blu-rays. I'm on board with most of his picks, though I am curious to know which "people" in their right mind would "bash" American Werewolf In London and why he thinks The Descent is Australian, but hey, we all make mistakes. All is forgiven because The Orphanage is also on his list. J.A. Bayona's debut is not only a fantastic film, but also one of the best Hi-Def transfers out there. Here is the episode below. You can skip to about 6:45 if you want to get right to it.



A New Trailer.

Well, a trailer has arrived for the remake of George A. Romero's 1973 flick The Crazies. And I have to say it's looking pretty good. Poor decision making on the song choice though, as the Donnie Darko tune has already been pillaged once. Let's not make a habit of this guys, there's tons of other eighties songs out there to cover. Anyway, take a look.



The Walking Dead Are Coming... To AMC.

So, a while back it was announced that Frank Darabont had been tapped to bring Robert Kirkman's long running comic series The Walking Dead to the small screen. Recently, MTV interviewed Kirkman, asking about his involvement, his thoughts on Darabont coming aboard and how they are going to deal with the restraints of network television. Click on the image below to read the interview.

Enjoy The Little Things.

When I first saw the Zombieland trailer, I remember thinking that it could be fun. My friend Schwartz was a little more skeptical,

“You know what this looks like?” he said. “Studio suits, sitting around a table and saying, okay what's hot right now? Zombies? All right, let's throw some money at a star and get something flashy out, pronto.”

And yes, I can see that. I could figure that out just from the massive advertising blitz that Zombieland has received. I mean, my twelve-year-old niece wants to see this thing for God's sake.

Soft spoken wimp Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) and bad ass zombie killer Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) are travelling east after a zombie apocalypse and meet up with Wichita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin), who are on their way to a theme park that is rumoured to be free of the undead.

Zombieland is a lot of fun. It doesn't try to reinvent the wheel, it just gives you the standard post-modern zombie apocalypse scenario and plunks down some colourful characters in it for you to enjoy. The gore is fairly cartoony and employs a lot of CG – some of it not so great – but I can forgive that considering the practical effects are fairly decent. The cast here is perfect, especially Harrelson who looks like he was having a blast every minute of this shoot. It certainly sounds like Zombieland had an effect on him. I know that a lot of socially awkward guys will see some of themselves in the Eisenberg's character, as well. Stone & Breslin mesh well with their male counterparts, making for some good comedy. Which brings me to the dialogue. A lot of it is quite funny and really feels true. If we were suddenly cut off from all our everyday conveniences, would we often reminisce about them? I think we would. There were moments where Zombieland did look like it was trying a little too hard though. The device of the pop-up graphics became a little overdone by the fifteen-minute mark, so it was good they held back on them after that point. I will say that the credit sequence featuring slow-mo zombie attacks to the tune of Metallica's “For Whom The Bell Tolls” was pretty awesome.

The voice over does seem like a contrivance, but I think it works here for the most part. The half survival guide, half boy trying to find love narrative of Columbus almost comes off as charming. This could be because I fall into the group of people that I think this movie is speaking to. You know, the kind sitting at their desk at ten-thirty on a Monday morning almost wishing for a zombie plague, if only to break up the monotony. Zombieland is another in a growing trend of genre movies that have a running time at eighty to ninety minutes. I applaud that. I'm not saying that three-hour movies aren't fine – Inglourious Basterds will likely end up being my top film of 2009 – but there's something to be said for movies that get in, do their thing and get out.

Even though it shares some of the same elements as Shaun Of The Dead – which seems to be the knee jerk comparison – I don't feel that Zombieland will become as relevant as that Brit zom-rom-com still remains. So, in the end Schwartz was right. Zombieland is empty popcorn entertainment, but that doesn't stop it from being one hell of a good time.