What's A Gork?

In collaboration with a selection of the finest film blogs the infranet has to offer, The Horror Section is proud to contribute to “Blair Week”, a six-day extravaganza expounding on the virtues of Linda Blair and her legacy of quality motion pictures.

When we were choosing our desired flicks for this little celebration, I naturally gravitated toward the 1981 slasher flick Hell Night. This was not only due to it being an obvious fit for my site, but also because I’d shockingly never seen it. So, by watching it for the festivities, I killed two shoulder-mounted parrots with one stone.


You know, there were a lot of things that surprised me about Hell Night. I found that the dialogue was pretty decent, as people actually like, talk to each other about stuff. It seemed truer to me than the usual filler between kills that normally happens in titles of this ilk. It also had a fairly good setup, with the fraternity President laying out the deliciously ghoulish tale while on the way to Garth mansion, which also serves as a great location. Hell Night also its fair share of chuckle inducing exchanges such as;

“What a twat, we should have left her behind.”
-“But her behind’s the best part. We should have kept her behind, and left the rest.”

Oh, that reminds me… Every once and a while, I see an older movie that uses vernacular I thought a lot newer than it actually is. Just like when I first heard Billy drop the C-bomb in Black Christmas, Hell Night uses terms like mindfuck and the aforementioned twat.

I finally got some context on this image, after seeing it on the back of the box for twenty-some years.


I should also mention that considering how early on in the slasher boom Hell Night was, the filmmakers certainly go out of their way to subvert the ubiquitous clichés, such as cars not starting, characters trapped in a single location and going about arming themselves – even if how the latter happens is one of the most ridiculous laugh-out-loud moments I’ve seen in a horror movie in quite some time. As for star Linda Blair, she is well suited for the role of the virginal Final Girl and it actually surprises me that it took until 1981 for her to be cast as one.


Having said all that, Hell Night does eventually succumb to the common tactic of trying to pad their length with long sections of characters searching through corridors and the like. The climax also left me a little confused as well, but I’m not going to dwell on it.

All this adds up to a movie that was a lot better than I was expecting. I think Hell Night has always been regarded as a second or third tier title in the slasher pyramid, so I guess I was expecting something along the lines of the outrageous Slaughter High. However, Hell Night holds up in my opinion. It’s far from flashy, but at times offers more than a lot of the other slashers were at that time.

As I stated above, there will be several reviews featuring Linda Blair hitting the blogosphere throughout the week, so check in often. For the full list, click here.


Well, that was all right. I’m actually quite proud of myself, as I managed to get through an entire review of a movie featuring Linda Blair without once mentioning her ridiculously self-indulgent appearance at the ’05 Toronto Festival Of Fear… Awww crap.

It's Blair Week!

This week I'm jacked in with Lost Video Archive's celebration of the films of Linda Blair.

In addition to my review of the 1981 slasher Hell Night tomorrow, be sure to check out the upcoming posts by these fine bloggers.

Today

Lost Video Archive kicks off the party with a review of Savage Streets.

Satan's Hope Chest doubles up with Chained Heat & Savage Island.

Tuesday

Camp Movie Camp sounds off on Grotesque.

Full Moon Reviews brings us his thoughts on Bailout.

Wednesday

Illogical Contraption talks Repossessed.

Lines That Make Things will contribute Blair-inspired artwork.

Breakfast In The Ruins covers The Exorcist sequel, The Heretic.

Thursday

B Movies and Beyond comments on Summer Of Fear.

Camp Movie Camp comes back for more with Nightforce.

Friday

The Manchester Morgue puts on his skates for Rollerboogie.

Happy Otter talks about The Chilling.

Ninja Dixon reviews Witchery.

Saturday

Lost Video Archive shares his thoughts on Born Innocent.

Unflinching Eye wraps things up with a look at Linda's fall from grace.

It all starts now!

Don't Kill The Messenger 60

Happy Mother's Day to all you matriarchs out there. Let's see what happened this week.

We're Gonna Need More Tapes.

This week it was announced that the awesome zombie series [REC] will be getting two more sequels. When they were at Midnight Madness last year showing [REC]2, directors Paco Plaza and Jaume Balaguero really seemed like they didn't know what lay ahead, but I knew they wouldn't be able to resist going back to that universe. As Dread Central reported here, the two directors will be splitting up and directing a film each. Plaza will helm [REC]3 subtitled Apocalypse, which presumably continues on from where the second film left off, and Balaguero will direct [REC]4: Genesis. Judging from that title, I would expect that may be a prequel of sorts. Usually, the announcement of a sequel is a groan-inducing affair, but anyone who has experienced these two powerhouses know this is different.

Trailer Time!

Two more films popped up on my radar this week, thanks to Twitch and Quiet Earth. The first is for a British thriller called Siren.

Second, is the Mexican cannibal film We Are What We Are.



Todd Brown from Twitch has been absolutely raving about this film, comparing it to 2008's Let The Right One In, in that the horror is secondary. The filmmakers handle the characters in such a way that, even despite the ugliness of their actions, you become sympathetic to their plight. A very intriguing prospect indeed!

Mondo Cool.

DirtyRobot shot me a link to this awesome Evil Dead poster soon to be available through Mondo Tees.

WANT!

And Today, Is His Birthday.

Lastly, it's kind of fitting that it is Mother's Day, as thirty years ago today Sean Cunningham and company first unleashed Friday The 13th on audiences. It would go on become horror's most prolific series with eleven movies (or ten-and-a-half, depending on how you count FvsJ) and a (cough) reboot. I had planned to do something special for the occasion, but it didn't work out, so instead I offer you this montage of carnage courtesy of YouTube user UpperClass184.

Here's To One Hundred More!

Last night I went to Rue Morgue's 100th issue celebration. There was a lot going on inside and was also a black dress affair, so that made for some interesting outfits. There were ladies dressed in sexy Freddy Krueger outfits (great) as well as TV screens looping the Nightmare remake trailer (not so great), but I was later to learn that this underlying motif had another reason other than Warner Brothers was an obvious sponsor. Mostly it was just cool to socialize, as a lot of my Toronto crew were at the event.

The music was provided by a local band called Squid Lid, and they were actually really good and miles above who the Rue Crew usually trot out for these things.

The big announcement came around midnight where Dave Alexander, editor of Rue Morgue, came out and announced the lineup for this year's Festival Of Fear. Here they are.

Julie Newmar, of Catwoman fame.

Joan Collins (not the crazy Santa dude) from 1972's Tales From The Crypt and TV's Dallas.

Bill Moseley, of The Devil's Rejects & Dead Air makes his glorious return to Toronto.

Ken Russell, director of such films as Gothic and Lair Of The White Worm. Is it just me or does he look exactly like that guy from High Tension?

Moving on... You know him, you love him... from films like Aliens, The Quick & The Dead and TV's Millenium, Lance Henriksen.

Star and heroine A Nightmare On Elm Street, Heather Langenkamp.

And the guest of honour, acclaimed director and Canadian icon David Cronenberg!

He doesn't do many public appearances, so I guess that thing with Stephen King late last year must have whet his appetite. I cannot wait for the Q&A on this one!

So that's it. Later on that night, I actually got to sit with Heather Langenkamp, who was there for the announcement, and she talked to my buddy Mitchell (I, of course had a sudden bout of laryngitis) for a good while. She's currently working on a documentary called I Am Nancy, which mainly deals with the effect A Nightmare On Elm Street (and namely her character) has had on a generation of filmgoers.

It was a great night, and August can't come soon enough!

Under Lock & Key.

Recently, I checked out an Australian indie from last year called Storage.


After Jimmy's (Matthew Scully) father is killed during a robbery, he goes to live with his Uncle Leonard (Damien Garvey) and gets a job at his underground storage facility. On his first day, he gets a little too curious about a suspicious customer and trouble ensues.

Storage is a good little flick and one where I never knew quite where it was going. While it started off like many horrors I've seen before – with a child losing a parent – it quickly became unclear just what kind of movie I was watching. When Jimmy was being shown around the storage facility I got a definite Return Of The Living Dead vibe, but ten minutes later, a perfectly alive antagonist was introduced. Then soon after that, it took me down a side path. Truth be told, even when its true intent was finally revealed, Storage still managed to surprise me. Now, having said that, keeping its cards as close to its chest as it does is a strength and a weakness. It is slow to be sure, but it always kept me engaged with solid performances and a simple narrative. It requires a little patience, so if you're just in it for the bells and whistles, well, another Saw sequel will be along shortly for you.


After watching Storage, I was reminded of another thriller that I saw last year called The Disappearance of Alice Creed, which I believe is actually getting a limited release imminently through Anchor Bay. In terms of story, they bear no resemblance, but they are both solid thrillers that boast very few characters and always keep you guessing as to where they are headed. This is a rare thing these days and makes seeking out these indies worth enduring the disproportionate number of stinkers in between.

I don't know if and when Storage will end up on your video store shelf, but if it ever does and you're in the mood for a story-driven thriller, you now know that – for what its worth – it has my endorsement.

Zombie Killin' In Sin City.

By far, the funnest thing I did in Vegas - well, the funnest PG-rated thing anyway - was take a trip to The Gun Store. I had heard from a few people that going to a range was a must while in Vegas and I was totally up for it. A friend of mine had just been there a few weeks before and told me all about their fantastic 'Zombie Package'. I was stoked. Being from Canada, this whole right-to-bear-arms thing is a little foreign to me. Were they really going to just hand me a gun when I walked in the door? The answer is yes. And they smile while they do it. Albeit while keeping one hand on their own sidearm, in case you decide to go postal.

So, our second day in Vegas, we took a fifteen-dollar cab ride from our hotel room at the MGM and soon found ourselves standing in front of a wall full of guns.

I'm sure the bazookas are just for show, right? RIGHT?

Naturally, I went with the Zombie Package and my friends went with the Coalition Package aka The Iraq Paq. They must seriously make a killing here, as I'm sure ammunition can't be that expensive, especially if buying it in large sums. Considering it was a Wednesday afternoon, it was pretty busy, but after about a half-hour we were standing in the sound-proofed, highly air-conditioned firing booth, with our ammo in hand.

Our instructor Tom was super cool, telling us what to do with each weapon and then stepping back. He had obviously been in the military at some point because he knew every weapon inside out and had many stories of them in action. I was first up with my shotgun. I was fully expecting to get knocked on my ass, but the recoil was not nearly as harsh as I was expecting. Cocking it after every shot really is as satisfying as it looks in the movies. I'm not sure what make of shotgun it was, but after referring to Call of Duty, I'd say it was something similar to the W1200.

Next up, we got to fire off two clips with our handguns. I believe mine was an M9.

Once, I figured out not to hold down the clip release while cocking it, I was off to the races. Looking at the targets afterwards, my aim was definitely the worst with the pistol and also the one I felt the most uncomfortable with. It seems odd that the smallest weapon would be the hardest to handle.

Then we moved onto the machine guns. I got fifty rounds with an Uzi.

Even with an extra stock to hold onto, it really does start to get up on you if you let off more than five rounds at a time.

After my buddies shot off their M16's, it was time for me to get a hold of an FN Herstal FS2000. It was set to single shot, as due to its extreme rate of fire, full-auto is military use only. For all you MW2 addicts, this is the death dealer that gets unlocked at level 60. This had a laser sight on it, so it made hitting 'Roxie' a little easier.

No headshots true, but I certainly separated it from the body, which is almost as good. I put a few shots in the chest, after Tom yelled "go for the silicone!" halfway through my clip.

Our trip to The Gun Store was amazing and worth every cent. I certainly gained a new appreciation for firearms and it was cool to get my hands on the hardware I had been shooting virtually for so many years. A thing I found funny was that every local I mentioned The Gun Store to all said the same thing. "Oh cool, I've never been." It amazes me that with this awesome thing in their backyard, the majority of people that are going there are tourists. Then again, I haven't been to the CN Tower in about twenty years.

There is a small chance I maybe going back to Vegas next year with a different group of people, so you know where I'll be going if that happens. Zombies beware!

Don't Kill The Messenger 59

Anything exciting happen while I was gone? I was totally out of the loop while in Vegas, so this stuff below is just what I could cull from the last few days.

Fire Up The Plasma Cutter.

It sucks that we have to wait until 2011 to play Dead Space 2, but at least EA threw up a trailer a few days ago. At PAX East 10 in March, Visceral Games announced that the game's protagonist Isaac Clarke would not only be returning, but also don a new suit. Click here for IGN's report. The teaser trailer lies below.

Undecided.

Take a look at this trailer for Aussie indie Damned By Dawn.

I'm torn on it. On the one hand, I'm intrigued because the banshee is a severly unused monster in film and the composition seems sound, but I can't ignore the high amount of dodgy CGI on display either. I'll keep my eye out for it just the same. What do you guys think?

Turning Ka into Ka-Ka.

I heard the news, as reported by Quiet Earth, about Ron Howard taking over for JJ Abrams on adapting Stephen King's Dark Tower series. This is not good. I have never been of the belief that The Dark Tower was adaptable, but at least when JJ was onboard, I had some hope. This man was able to not only scoop the Star Trek franchise out of the shitter, but he also created Lost, which contains a lot of the same themes as The Dark Tower. I'm also not pleased that they are apparently planning on squeezing the seven book series into a trilogy of films. If anything, The Dark Tower belongs on HBO - where King's other epic The Stand should have been unleashed - with each novel being its own season of six hour-long episodes. Adapting this series is impossible enough, without adding a time contraint.

And Ron Howard? Geez. The Dark Tower series is anything but mainstream, which is all the guns currently hired seem to know how to crank out. How long before they announce Tom Hanks is set to play Roland? Oh well. As King himself once said,

"My books are right behind me on the shelf. If anyone wants to read them, they're right there."