FGFC: Amityville II

I was glad to hear that Amityville II: The Possession was this month's Final Girl Film Club selection. In her call-to-arms post, Stacie made allusions to the fact that many people feel this second film is the series' best. I've had a sneaking suspicion for years that this might be the case, but had not yet had the opportunity to revisit the movie and confirm this for myself. Well, hooray for the FGFC! Now, I'd be able to put this theory to the test.

I'd say that is probably about right. The Amityville movies – beyond the iconic house – have never been as high profile as a lot of the other touchstone franchises, but the second movie is the strongest. The first movie seems a little dated now and the third, with its 3D gimmick, was just silly for the most part. After that the series just became the cinematic equivalent of Friday the 13th: The Series with unlucky families encountering cursed objects that formerly resided in the original house. There is also the fact that the scenario presented in Amityville II seems the most plausible of the bunch. Again, as seems to becoming the status quo when I re-watch movies I saw as a kid, it is mind-boggling just how much I forget. I still remembered the incest though. That's the kind of stuff that just rattles around in your psyche forever. Even as an eight-year-old, I could tell that seduction scene was not right and it was no less uncomfortable to watch now. Although, now I found Sonny and Patricia's (played by Jack Magner & Diane Franklin, respectively) relationship was a little bent even before the shit hit the fan. I mean, ewwwwwwww! And the ENTIRE family is dysfunctional. That was another thing that had escaped me. Talk about a loveless marriage! Then again, Burt Young really isn't the most attractive man in the world, is he? How this couple ever lasted to have FOUR children is beyond me. And the two youngest kids always seemed to be on the verge of killing each other. Thankfully, they focused more on the little girl because I don't think the kid playing the boy was even aware there was a camera rolling film on him.

Awww, they're so cute.

Why is it haunted homeowners always seem willing to wait it out rather than pack up and leave? The secret room in the basement filled with sewage and flies should have been your first clue. How about instead of thinking of turning it into a gaming room, you get the fuck out of there before the walls start bleeding. Even though the production values made it feel like I was watching a TV movie, the direction by Damiano Damiani was sound. I noticed some similarities to Sam Raimi in terms of camerawork. Even though Amityville II and The Evil Dead would have been made around the same time, the resemblance between these two shots is uncanny, wouldn't you say?

The film ultimately runs out of gas though. Once the big 'event' happens, it seemed like it was floundering around looking for a conclusion, until someone decided the cull one from The Exorcist. That's okay though, because there was a nice makeup set piece at the climax that made it worthwhile. If you slide in some other little bits like the entire arsenal of firearms just lying around in the basement and the defense lawyer with the finest moustache in the history of film, you've got yourself a serviceable horror yarn.

Amityville II: The Possession was certainly worth revisiting. It peters out towards the finish line, but it certainly doesn't sugarcoat the disturbing subject matter and overuse the usual theatrics present in most haunted house flicks.

Don't Kill The Messenger XVII

Hello all. Let's see what's happening out there in the world.

Sound Advice.

I was cruising around Digg this week, and I found this horror list of the Top 13 Stupidest Decisions In The History Of Horror Films on Dailyfill.com. I know, you are saying, "meh, another list", but I found this one to be actually quite funny. My favourite is #10. Never buy your kid a present off the black market. That SHOULD be common sense, but those of us over thirty remember that crazy Cabbage Patch Kid Christmas. Mothers drew blood that year.

There's Always Music In The Air.

I think this clip has been around a while, but I just saw it this week. It's another trailer mashup, this one being Dirty Dancing as directed by David Lynch.


This totally captures Lynch's signature style. It's even almost as good as the super popular Shining trailer.

West Talks Doghouse.

One of my most anticipated horror flicks this year is Jake West's Doghouse. I've been salivating for its arrival for quite some time now and recently Todd over at Twitch got to talk with West about it. It releases in the UK next month and hopefully will release here in the fall, either wide or by way of a festival or two. See the new one sheet below and click here for the full interview.

That's all for now, and Happy Mother's Day to all you matriarchs out there!

What's The # For 911?

In 2005, I saw a cool little indie called Lightning Bug. The story about a horror fan growing up in a small town really resonated with me and I could tell that it was an extremely personal project for director Robert Hall. Recently, his latest project Laid To Rest hit video store shelves and while I was at Serena’s this week, she felt compelled to show it to me. Not because it was good, mind you. I think she was hoping I might be able to make some sense out of what the hell was going on in it. I’d have liked to be the proverbial knight in shining armour on this occasion, but alas I was just as confused.

What the hell IS going on in this movie?

The most frustrating thing about Laid To Rest is it could have been a good film. There are so many things that can be overlooked when watching a horror flick, but bad editing is not one of them. And I’m not talking about annoying MTV style shaky cam; I’m talking about coverage. The camera rarely seems to be where it should be and even the sound cues seem off. The script is no help either, so you are just left pin wheeling from scene to scene with only the gore to keep you interested. And that gore is Laid To Rest’s one saving grace. Although, with Hall having over seventy effects credits to his name, you would kind of expect that, wouldn’t you? It is Hall’s impressive resume that is likely behind how he was able to recruit so many recognizable faces for this. Showing up in relatively useless cameos are the likes of Lena Headey - presumably from their collaboration on the Terminator TV show - Johnathon Schaech & Richard Lynch. The latter half of the movie features Roach from The People Under The Stairs, the bald guy from Lightning Bug and Hall’s real-life wife (Bobbi Sue Luther) running around town trying to find a phone that works – and that isn’t password protected. And speaking of Luther, I was a little disappointed that her best 'assets' weren’t unleashed at some point.

I think the killer hit her over the head about ten seconds too soon in that flashback sequence. Things were just about to get interesting. Boo-urns! Although, Serena and I also watched the 1974 'thriller' Centerfold Girls that night and with its drink-when-you-see-boobs nudity levels, I think everything balanced out in the end. I will say that the villain (named Chromeskull) in the movie did look cool, but that was completely negated when he was killed off in one of the lamest ways ever put to film. I feel bad about lambasting Laid To Rest because I saw Robert Hall at the Festival Of Fear in ’05 when he was promoting Lightning Bug and he seemed like a really cool guy and very passionate about his craft. He’s a very talented effects man, but as a director...

I say that unless all you look for in a horror movie is gore, Laid To Rest belongs… wait for it… in the ground. ZING!

Family Ties

With festival favourite Mum & Dad being released on DVD this week the theme of effed-up families seems as good as any for this installment of Coverbox Wednesday.

Eraserhead was in our horror section. I think they just didn't know where else to put it.

I couldn't find the cover we had with Sig Haig screaming on the front.

And don't forget kiddies, it's Mother's Day this Sunday!

When Bad = Oh So Good.

I had a spectacular Saturday night. After leisurely walking around downtown and ducking into all the comic, video and used book stores along Bloor Street, I took in Best Worst Movie, a documentary about Troll 2's (a movie many regard as the worst ever made) cult phenomenon. It was a double bill of sorts because Schwartz and I watched Troll 2 right before we walked down to the Bloor to take in the doc. Best Worst Movie was screening as part of the annual Hot Docs Festival, which showcases documentaries from around the world. I wanted to see Zombie Girl as well, but I didn’t get around to it.

So to lead off, let me talk about Troll 2. It is remarkable how every single aspect of this movie is a complete disaster, yet somehow remains an highly enjoyable watch. I couldn’t BELIEVE some of the stuff that happens in this movie. I don't know the number of times I looked over at Schwartz with this look of bewilderment on my face - this was, of course, between all the belly laughs – to which he would simply say;

“I know.”

Instead of trying to come up with a review here because let’s face it, what can I say that hasn’t already been said, I decided to just state my five favourite things about Troll 2. Although, narrowing it down to five might be tougher than just writing a review.

5. Grandpa Seth.

This spectral senior just keeps showing up to encourage Joshua's (Michael Paul Stephenson, who is coincidentally the director of Best Worst Movie) delinquent behaviour that includes dinner table urination and arson. And all the while with that sly little grin on his face.

4. Troll #3.
Everytime this guy appeared onscreen, me and Schwartz could not help but burst out laughing.

3. Popcorn Seduction.
Wtf? I mean WTF?!

2. Creedence Leonore Gielgud.

SHE FUCKING OWNS!

1. Three Words.

Troll 2 is a case of lightning in a bottle. It would have been impossible to intentionally make a movie this bad and I think that it why it has attained its status. Everyone at the time thought they were making a good movie. With my sides now slightly aching, we headed down to the Bloor for Best Worst Movie. I’d been stoked to see this movie for a while, ever since this trailer hit the Internets.


It was a hit at South By Southwest in March and received many favourable reviews, the boys at TRS among them. And now I can add myself to the ranks. Best Worst Movie is such an enjoyable documentary. It is so well put together and often lets the camera tell the story. It sounds like a simple thing, but it adds so much to the overall flavour of the piece. Along this journey, you meet a myriad of characters that you think can’t be for real, but somehow ARE. Best Worst Movie really runs the gamut. First, it is as hilarious as the movie it is documenting. Scenes like George Hardy (the father in Troll 2) confusedly wandering around a horror convention are priceless. Then there are the uncomfortable bits like when Margo Prey (the mother) actually asserts – with complete sincerity mind you – that Troll 2 holds up against classics like Casablanca. There are even touching moments like former mental patient Don Packard (the store owner in Troll 2) admitting that he never felt good about himself until the round of applause he received at a Troll 2 screening. However, nothing beats the awkward faces of attendees that were witness to director Claudio Fragasso's Q&A outbursts. His response to anything negative about his film was “You don't know nothing!” I think the only person I thought was missing from the doc was Deborah Reed, who played Creedence. I would've loved to hear her talk about performing those scenes.

Another wonderful thing is that it's not necessary to have seen the actual movie the doc is referencing to enjoy it. I mentioned the characters that make up the cast and crew, but just as colourful are the fans themselves. It’s really a documentary about the people involved than the movie itself and trying to nail down how such a failure could still be thriving twenty years later. Best Worst Movie also had a surreal quality to it. There was a Troll 2 screening at The Bloor last May and footage for the doc was taken during it. So, here I am sitting in The Bloor, watching The Bloor onscreen. Weird. Director Michael Paul Stephenson and Hardy were in attendance and George was every bit the character he was in the doc. You could just tell that he loves the limelight. I'm afraid I didn't have my camera on me this time to take pictures though.

Best Worst Movie is a documentary that you come out of feeling great. It felt much like my experience after watching the King of Kong doc about Steve Wiebe. You just come out the other side with a spring in your step. A 35mm print of Troll 2 is screening again at the Bloor in a few weeks. I’ll be there; chloropyhll green buttered popcorn in hand.

This Just In...

Cell phones are evil.



Thanks to Dirtyrobot for showing me the way.

Don't Kill The Messenger XVI

Hello all, hope you are all having a good weekend. Here's what hit on my radar this week.

She'll Be Right At Home.

I'm a little late on this one, but I just found out about Evan Rachel Wood's inclusion into the upcoming second season of True Blood. Apparently, she is going to appear in at least two episodes as;

"Sophie Anne, a 500-year-old vampire from France who is charming, wily, ruthless and wise. She's a consummate diplomat who has (or had) many of history's most famous people on speed dial."

Here's hoping that she doesn't bring Marilyn Manson with her. I know they're not together anymore, but you never know. Anyway, the sophomore season begins in June. Check out the teaser below.


Moving from Nihilism To Anger?

Julien Maury and Alexandre Bustillo, the crazy cats behind 2007's nerve shredder Inside are bringing their new project Livid to the Cannes Film Market this month. The synopsis is described as;

"It’s young Lucy’s first day as a trainee in-house caregiver. She visits Mrs Jessel, an old woman who lies in cerebral coma, by herself, in her large desolate house. Learning by accident that Mrs Jessel, a former dance teacher of repute, supposedly possesses a treasure somewhere in the house, Lucy and friends William and Ben decide to search the house in the hope of finding it.At night, they get into the house, which reveals itself to be increasingly peculiar. Their hunt for Mrs Jessel’s treasure leads them into a horrifying supernatural series of events that will change Lucy forever…"

I'm interested to see how these guys tackle the supernatural. Here's the one-sheet below, courtesy of Twitch.

Ich Leibe Franka.

It looks like director Julien Gilbey has a new project in the works. Initially, the actual storyline was a little elusive with reports of it being about either mountaineers dodging hitmen while on an expedition or friends turning on each other while trying to hide an accidental death. All we know for sure is that it is called The Long Weekend, and it stars Franka Potente. Consequently, that is ALL I need to take notice. A concept reel that sheds a bit more light on The Long Weekend can be viewed here.

Enjoy your evening!