It took over three years, but my crew and I finally returned to Las Vegas last week. So, what's a guy like me to do with a free evening in Sin City? No, not that. I checked out Eli Roth's Goretorium, of course!
I had a great time. It was a little more tourist-y than I was
expecting, with it being lodged inside a shopping mall, but once
inside the actual attraction, it was all good. I
appreciated that instead of just randomly walking through a maze of
thrown together blood and guts, there was an actual storyline to the
proceedings. The history of the Delmont hotel was laid out for us by
our tour guide. That is, before he was decapitated, of course. A ride
in a creaky service elevator then led us to several well-conceived
abominations throughout the fifteen minutes it took for my group to
walk through. The production values were probably the best I've
seen, and there were several choice gags. I had to laugh when the
crazy butcher got in my face and asked me if I was a vegan.
Wall dressing. |
Death from above. |
So, the question you probably want to ask is, is it scary? Well, not
really. But I'm not the one to ask. Perhaps the two screaming chicks
in front of me would have a better answer for you. I thought the end
of the attraction, which spits you out into the Baby Dolls Lounge, was
a nice little capper. Naturally, I had made my way up to the front
throughout the gauntlet and stepped up to be the first to venture
through the exit.The
Lounge was a cool little setup with a gorgeous view of the strip. The
stunning bartender was certainly a plus, as well. She didn't spare the
bottle and made us the kind of drinks that really creep up on you.
I think my only disappointment was the absence of some stuff I was
hoping for. When Roth was in Toronto for a screening of Cannibal Ferox last year, he laid out all the stuff he wanted to do for his
“all-year-round haunted house”. These included things like live
zombie feedings and the ability to watch people going through the
maze and fuck with them with buttons of noise and such. Unfortunately, neither of these things were there when I went. However, there was a nice
touch in the washrooms though. Stepping up to the urinal, I was
taunted by a disembodied female voice asking if “it was cold
outside”.
The
Goretorium, despite its kitschy exterior is definitely worth checking
out. I expect things probably ratchet up a few notches closer to
Halloween. Maybe I'll have to return during Vegas 3.0!
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