Oct 22nd Hellbar Trivia Watchlist

To all those who came here from the event or FB page, welcome! I am Jay, one half of the horror trivia quizmasters and this is my humble blog. Here's a selected list of titles mentioned at the last event, which was a special appearance at Offworld's October pop-up Hellbar. Click on the titles to be redirected to their Imdb listing.

Jacob's Ladder (1990)

The Ninth Gate (1999)

Immaculate (2024)

The House of the Devil (2009)

Ghostwatch (1992)

Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)

Nightbreed (1990)

Hellraiser: Hellseeker (2002)

Hellraiser: Inferno (2000)

Hellraiser: Deader (2005)

Hellraiser: Hellworld (2005)

Suspiria (2018)

Drag Me To Hell (2009)

Night of the Demon (1957)

The Devil's Candy (2015)

Devil's Mile (2014)

The Devil's Mile (1987)

Evilspeak (1981)

In the Mouth of Madness (1994)

The Manitou (1978)

Jennifer's Body (2009)

Exorcist: Dominion (2005)

The Exorcist III (1990)

House of Exorcism (1975)

The Pope's Exorcist (2023)

When Evil Lurks (2023)

Who Killed Cock Robin?

Yes, October VHS Fridays continue here at THS. Since my tape of the 1982 Morgan Fairchild thriller The Seduction snapped on its reels, I had to make a last-minute pivot to the Aussie offering Cassandra from 1987.

Young Cassandra's (Tessa Humprhries) repressed memories have been bubbling to the surface. Her parents tell her it's nothing, but their reluctance to share the skeletons in their family closet may have dire consequences.

Cassandra opened up promisingly enough with a wicked title card, some wild editing that would make even Sam Raimi blush, a sweet piano-driven score and an evil child channeling Emperor Palpatine.

That GIF really doesn't do it justice without sound. I also want to point out that it gives me great joy that even after a half-century on this Earth, most of that watching horror films, I can still encounter clips and sounds that were sampled by the industrial bands I listened to in my youth, this one in particular being TKK. So, five minutes in, I was having a gas.

Cassandra ends up being a servicable flick, but it has a bit of an identity crisis, not uncommon of late eighties horror. Its body count is too low to be a slasher, even though it may have been marketed as such, and its supernatural elements - Cass's visions of past and future - are too sparce for your average paranormal affair so it just spends much of its running time hanging between the two.

Tessa Humphries as Cassandra.

Another puzzling element is how little Cassandra is in this movie. You would assume being the title character, she would be the, you know, MAIN character, but to be honest she almost disappears in the middle act, replaced by her mother-not-mother Helen, who is admittedly bad-ass. She fends off multiple attacks from the killer and surprised me with her resilience. The rest was just looking past the reddest of all red herrings, awaiting the true killer to be revealed that I certainly didn't need Cassie's second sight to figure out.

I've had this tape for quite some time (and one of the few I own with a blue case) so it was good that I finally got down under to watch this piece of Ozploitation. I think I have my Fridays line up locked in for the next few weeks (provided no tape malfunctions) so check back soon.

See This Movie!

 
It comes out Oct 3rd. I saw it at Fantasia this year, and it is ace. PSA complete.

Black & Blue.

It would appear the parting comments of my last post willed this one into existence. Here be my thoughts on George Mihalka's 1985 film Eternal Evil aka The Blue Man.

When people start dying around him, director Paul Sharpe (Winston Reckert) begins to suspect his recent dealings with astral projection may have something to do it.

When I picked this up a few weeks ago at Cultland, I had no knowledge of its existence - at least as Eternal Evil - but I was very happy to add it to my collection of crusty Canadian horrors. This film was directed by George Mihalka, best known for 1981 slasher staple and Moosehead commercial My Bloody Valentine and he definitely flexes his creative muscles in this one. The camerawork is wild, with it floating everywhere, suitably conveying the out-of-body nature of the subject matter. I noticed a sequence early on remniscent of Argento's Tenebrae, but Mihalka - and DOP Paul Van der Linden - almost one-up him when the camera seems to detach and float away.

I was pondering how many horror films are about astral projection and there really are only a few - at least of this era - and that surprises me because it's a terrifying concept. I guess we were just wrapped up with your average ghosties around this time to complicate things further I guess. About halfway through, when Reckert & Karen Black were walking across a bridge, I realized I recognized it, recalling that I rode actually over this bridge during the Montreal Horror Express in 2019.

I've been here!

Eternal Evil is decent overall I'd say. It meanders in the middle a bit, but it does offer some surprises. I also appreciated when it veered into giallo territory, one scene involving a red raincoated figure in an elevator comes to mind. The climax may be a little leading, but the payoff is satisfying enough to recommend. Thankfully, Karen Black gets to Karen Black with decidedly more to do here than she did a decade earlier in the 1973 Montreal-lensed thriller The Pyx. I can also confirm that this movie is not a Blue Man Group origin story... I'm sure I'm the first one to make that joke, right?

That's it for now, I'm shortly off to my yearly sojourn to Montreal for the Fantasia Film Festival. Until then, stay safe, kiddies.

That's One Nasty Sofa Bed!

The next movie on the pile was Doug Curtis' 1989 flick The Sleeping Car.

Mature college student Jason (David Naughton) rents an apartment converted from an old train car only to find it may be haunted by the previous owner.

I did actually see this when it came out, but remembered nothing about it except Naughton was in it and that it was less than great. But, hey I figured thirty-plus years is grounds for reappraisal.

Man, even if I didn't know when this film was made, I would've known when this film was made. I mentioned in my Dr. Giggles post last month about that stretch when film studios were looking for the next Jason or Freddy and The Sleeping Cat is right in that era. It's even on the coverbox for fuck's sake.

Forget Freddy. Forget Jason. Here Comes The Mister.

That aside, this was when, on the backs of recent Nightmare sequels and Evil Dead 2, camp, or at least, wry comedy, was en vogue in horror and The Sleeping Car lapped it up. It is evident early on why they cast Naughton in this, as the filmmakers wanted a David Kessler - his iconic role in American Werewolf - type for this picture. I like to think this movie was an alternate timeline where he took Jack's advice and they went to Italy instead of Northern England and this is where he ended up almost a decade later.

Naughton literally wisecracks his way through the entire movie, well to be fair, EVERY character wisecracks their way through the movie. But him especially. This dialogue, man. It's exhausting to the point you just can't help but crack up eventually. 

And yes, that's Judie Aronson. I had somehow forgot she was in this, which shocks me because she is fire in this. Kevin McCarthy also has a role as Naughton's next door, er, next car neighbour and looked like the one having the most fun in this. If you get past the try-hard air of Curtis and Co. there is some amusement to be had. It wasn't lost on me that the writers were big genre fans, and with Naughton on the payroll you better believe they were gonna do another double nightmare bit.

But moving onto the antagonist The Mister. He really only bookends the movie, as everything in between is him killing people with furniture, namely the sofa bed in the train car. It sounds absurd, and it is, but watching people being impaled by bedsprings is admittedly kind of badass. 

Also, of note is the Mister is played by none other than John Carl Buechler. Maybe he figured Kane was having so much fun on Friday 7, he thought sure, I'll get in on the action.

In the end, forgiveness plays a huge part in the climax for a reason I guess I missed. To be honest, my VHS copy was a really shitty Vidmark SLP recording so I almost aborted on more than one occasion. All the gore and at least a hundred of the “jokes” were still intact though, don't you worry. So, is The Sleeping Car forgettable? Probably. But, I still give it an A for effort.

HMG: Beyond The Door II

The next entry in the Guide was Beyond The Door II, however I didn't realize until I looked closer that this film was actually Mario Bava's last effort Shock retitled for American audiences. I'd seen once or twice before back in the 00's when I dove into his back catalogue, but I figured what the hell, if it's Bava and Daria Nicolodi, it's worth a revisit.

Dora (Nicolodi) returns to her house after a brief stay in the loony bin after her husband's suicide. Being left alone with her son Marco (David Colin Jr.) for long stretches by her new beau (John Steiner), she begins to suspect her husband's spirit is still present.

Shock almost immediately brought a smile to my face because I was reminded that circa 2005 I had a roommate named Mark and I culled a sample from this movie for our answering machine message.

Such good times. Marco is such a little shit, but even with the terrible par-for-the-course dubbing, he still manages to do more than you would expect from a six-year-old. I obviously never realized until now that Marco and that pea soup sucking kid in Beyond The Door were one in the same. Wild, man.

Not unusual for Italian thrillers of this time, the score - by prog rock band Libra - is way out front, to the point I was often confused as to whether the music box and piano music was actually part of the environment. In any case, a solid score that I am currently listening to as I type this. 

Daria Nicolodi in Beyond the Door II aka Shock.

Shock bounces back and forth from psychological to supernatural like a metronome, before finally deciding which one it wants to be. This, with the help of his son Lamberto, was Mario's last film and he still had it way into his sixties. Sure, it's not in the upper echelon of his catalogue, but even lesser Bava is still worth watching. 

I'm not gonna lie, this film does drag in parts, especially when it's just Daria wandering around her house, but he still finds ways to engage with his signature visual flourishes, like the razor blade in the piano keys, that close-up shot of Daria in bed that must have been shot on some sort of rotating set and let's not forget it boasts one of the all-time great jump scares;

Shock was a worthy revisit that I am glad the Guide concurred with. I can't say I agree with their knock on the visuals though. I mean sure, it ain't Blood and Black Lace... but what is?

Spacecore Horizon.

The next VHS off the pile was DJ Webster's 1990 sci-fi flick The Dark Side of the Moon. This was a video store staple in the nineties, but one I never bothered with until now.

In 2022 - shit I should have watched this last year - the vessel Spacecore malfunctions and drifts into the dark side of the moon where it finds a long lost space shuttle with something malevolent onboard.

The Dark Side of the Moon was largely lower-tier sci-fi, but it does have some things going for it. The space sets and models were surprisingly decent, made right before filmmakers started trying to do this shit digitally. I did enjoy seeing a few familiar faces. This was apparently Joe Turkel's last film and I can see him being like, “bitch I pushed Jack Torrance off the wagon and ran fucking Tyrell Corp, I be done with this shit”. I was also chuffed to see Friday 4 alumni Camilla More show up as the “Mother” character.

Even though the set up of this film is largely a redo of Alien and then functions as a dry run of Event Horizon - which wouldn't hit screens for another seven years - I did like the tie-in to the Bermuda Triangle. Christ, remember when that was a thing? In the eighties, it was a tangible threat, like quicksand and Stranger Danger. And I'll give this movie some credit, of all the things I was expecting on that derelict ship, Satan was not one of them.

Webster does a serviceable job with the material - especially since his resume consists almost solely of music videos - but does inevitably fall into the same trap as most of these low budget SF pictures where the crew spends an ungodly amount of time searching the ship. This is where I started nodding off, but I was able to snap back into consciousness to see our lead sacrifice himself for the greater good.

The Dark Side of the Moon is watchable fare, but also almost  indistinguishable from the likeminded fare that populated this early nineties era. I would take Gary J. Tunnicliffe's 1996 flick Within The Rock over this if I'm being honest. 

HMG: Beyond The Door

The next entry in the Guide was Ovidio G. Assonitis' 1974 flick Beyond The Door. I obviously knew the coverbox from way back, but didn't really know what I was in for.

Jessica (Juliet Mills) has a lot on her plate, not only being possessed by a demon, but also apparently carrying the devil's child. Levitation, regurgitation and desecration ensues.

It's funny to me that I just watched Beyond Evil, a film with similar themes to Beyond The Door, but couldn't be more different. Evil attempts to tell a coherent story - it fails, but at least tries - whereas Door has no such allusions. This is textbook Italian replication at work here. Mix together a large helping of The Exorcist (which came out the year previous) with some Rosemary's Baby, add some weirdo badly dubbed children and sprinkle a Euro-funkadelic score on top and voila; you've got Beyond The Door!

I have so many questions, chief among them, why is the son obsessed with pea soup, to the point he drinks it from the fucking can? Is it some sort of in-joke about Pazuzu vomit? Both these kids talk like they're from outer space. Man, onscreen children that call their parents by their first names always irk me. But I digress. Whatever the deal was with those kids was irrelevant anyway because they are mercifully shuffled away in the third act, save for the nonsensical final freeze frame.

Like, what the fuck dude?

Beyond The Door is just so perplexing. It should be simple, but just can't help going off on these strange tangents, like that extended scene when the husband, Argento regular Gabe Lavia, is accosted by nose-fluting buskers on the sidewalk. Oh, I forgot about this... the movie opens with narration from the Devil himself. I don't know why the Prince of Darkness felt the need to lay everything out for us, but thanks I guess? You know what I'd like to forget? That skeezy goodnight kiss scene. Ick.

This all results in a movie that feels loooong. However, I did appreciate that at some points two scenes were super-imposed over each other to save time. I guess the only real takeaway - apart from the usual bonkers Eurotropes - was Mills' performance as she really gives her all in the possession scenes. I'm sure this wasn't what she was envisioning when she signed onto this project - her last film in Italy was alongside Jack Lemmon - but that's the nature of the biz I guess.

It looks like the Guide had even less tolerance for Beyond The Door than I did, finding the kids equally as boggling.

Jennifer! *whispers* Jenniferrrrr!

I have to admit that my pile was getting on the low side, but fortunately I was able to replenish my VHS stash by visiting a tape market in Hamilton last weekend. I've got some beauties that you'll likely see show up in the next few weeks, starting with today's entry, Jennifer from 1978.

A bullied schoolgirl named Jennifer (Lisa Pelikan) finally puts her God-given ability to control snakes to good use.

First off, let's just digest that coverbox for a second. Putting aside that whichever video store rented this tape put it in the Action section, I feel the need to point out that at no point during this movie does a tiger fight snakes and/or Jennifer. Unreal.

Moving on from that though... Funny thing here. I thought I hadn't seen this, but almost immediately I was hit with a wave of déjà vu. Turns out I watched this not too long ago at one of my Zoom movie nights, but somehow it slipped my mind. There was no denying it though, for if that catchy theme song hadn't jogged my memory, seeing that kitten and recalling its brutal end surely did. Then of course, when Bert Convy showed up, I remembered chatting about the Love Boat.

But anyway, for a Carrie rip-off, Jennifer is serviceable fare. Director Brice Mack (who started out as an animator on some of Disney's greatest hits) made the wise decision that if you're going to tread on familiar ground, you need to up the ante. The Mean Girls here were so diabolical, they made their De Palma counterparts seem like pussycats. For instance, the queen bitch Sandra (Amy Johnston) straight up tries to murder Jennifer in one scene and then, when one of her minions intervenes, she later has her boy toy rape her so-called friend in an elevator. Cold shit.

Aside from placating us with some disco, Mack waits a considerably long time to serve up the serpents. Thankfully, it does payoff in the end. There isn't much explanation as to the how or why of Jennifer's powers - controlling snakes is an easy enough leap, but being able to materialize them out of thin air is a tad perplexing - but is there ever? 

What's important is the bad folks eat shit and Jennifer gets to continue her life unfettered because good news, her religious parent doesn't try to murder her in this one. Redder IS better, amirite?

HMG: Beyond Evil

This week's foray into the pages of the Horror Movie Guide was 1980's Beyond Evil. This was a title I was not previously familiar with, but stars John Saxon and Lynda Day “Bastaaaaaaards” George so I was more than willing to imbibe.

Larry (Saxon) and his wife Barbara (George) move into a mansion on a tropical island, only to find it is haunted by a demonic spirit.

Our movie opens with a native wedding, after which the bride wanders into the forest and seems shocked to see this huge mansion that stands literally a stone's throw from their village. That's where we get the first glimpse of the house demon. It drops a column on the bride, but fortunately, after some questionable splint work, she survives. Cut to director card and the first of MANY dun-dun-dunnnnnn music cues.

Beyond Evil is one of those titles that is mostly a bore, plodding along in between sensational deaths that are sprinkled in every so often. Speaking of which, why is it that demons have such rampant remote access to all forms of machinery in these movies? 

Fortunately, amongst all this boring talk about faith healers and real estate deals, I had Day's long blonde locks and Saxon's hunky physique to hold my attention. Still cut in his mid-forties and badass AF. Respect!

Finally things start motoring in the last act when Saxon tries to stop the demon from possessing his wife. Green Laser Eyes ensue. Then, in the eleventh hour, jewelry and the power of love save the day, and the demon turns to dust.

Beyond Evil is pretty pedestrian and without its two stars I wager this movie would be almost unwatchable. The Guide would seem to agree. 

Y is for YellowBrickRoad (2010)

I recently became aware of Andy Mitton's work, first at this year's Fantasia with his new Covid-set chiller The Harbinger and then his previous haunted house tale Witch In The Window so with this penultimate slot available, it made sense to finally explore his debut.

In 1940, the inhabitants of a New England town all walked into the nearby wilderness never to be seen again. Almost seventy years later, an new expedition of researchers sets out to solve the mystery.

I enjoyed the story and lore of YellowBrickRoad. It's kind of a mash-up between The Blair Witch, the real legend of the Dyatlov Pass with a bit of The Shining thrown in for good measure. This movie also reinforced the absolute pervasiveness of The Wizard of Oz - first realized by me upon seeing the mesmerizing doc Lynch/Oz - on filmmaking as a medium.

Happier times at the trailhead.

 

YBR possessed some solid atmosphere, mainly brought on by the remote location and the increasingly eerie carrot-on-a-stick cacophony from beyond. Though the narrative and escalation is fairly standard, the actors were strong enough to keep me engaged. Also, a young Robert “The VVitch” Eggers did the costume design on this. The back story of this movie does sound like his bag for sure and I wager he  was taking notes on filming in the boonies. 

I did think that the death scenes were a little clumsy - umm I don't think legs just come off like that - and there were some issues with pacing. It's one of those movies were it looks like things are winding down, but in actual fact there's still fourty-five minutes left so the movie ends up taking longer to resolve itself than it should.

This all may just be an unfortunate side effect of watching a filmmaker's catalogue in reverse order. His newest film The Harbinger is a much tighter and assured piece of work. When you compare the execution of the set pieces, it's like night and day.

Regardless, this was a good starting point. Though the end of the YBR was a bit of a letdown (much like Dorothy must have reacted when she first saw behind the curtain) the lore and mood were enough to make it worth watching. 

U is for The Unholy (2021)

Thanks to a kind message from Mermaid Heather, I recently discovered that this movie was actually the sixth adaptation of James Herbert's bibliography. Given that his works are so infrequently mined, I felt compelled to watch and as luck would have it I had a free letter.

Alice (Cricket Brown) gains the power to heal and says the Virgin Mary is speaking through her. With the help of tabloid journalist Gerry Fenn (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), she spreads her word. Or is it?

There was some terrific pedigree here. Herbert's source material (his 1983 book Shrine), produced by Sam Raimi and some top level character actors the likes of Morgan, Bill Sadler and Katie Aselton. However, like I mentioned yesterday, the Hollywood system can't seem break out of its same old tricks. Having just watched Terrified before this, the difference between a filmmaker who knows what he's doing and one who doesn't is made abundantly clear. Evan Spiliotopoulos is definitely a better writer than he is a director.

Cricket Brown as Alice in The Unholy.

A scary movie is more than just easy jump scares and CGI apparitions. For instance, the first scene of The Unholy is basically the first scene of Bava's 1960 film Black Sunday except shot in first person. One scene is effective, the other is not. I bet you can guess which one. And don't get me started on its penchant for exposition and over explanation. Restraint could've really helped this movie. 

It's a shame because as far as I can remember (it has been a few decades), this was a fairly pure adaptation of Herbert's book. Sure, there was the usual condensing of characters and updating to modern day, but it hit all the beats and the casting was great. I thought the exchanges between Alice and Gerry were sincere, and few things bring me more joy than watching Cary Elwes do an accent (any American Crime fans in the house??). Problem is every time the solid cast built up some momentum - CG FACE FLY AT SCREEN! I wonder if that's actually what it said in the script?

Seeing Herbert onscreen is always a happy day, but I'm thankful the cast was skilled enough to keep it - despite post production's worst efforts - from being a painful disaster. I wonder if the studio system is ever going to break out of these old habits...