Ants In Your Pants

After another trip down that lonely alleyway, I was once again in the colourful depths of Trash Palace. This week’s feature was the 1974 super-ant sci-fi flick Phase IV. They really trot out the oddities here at the Palace. I don’t think I’ve seen this one anywhere since it was collecting dust on my shelf at the ol’ video store and it’s been even longer since I’ve actually watched the damn thing.

Two scientists (Michael Murphy & Nigel Davenport) at a desert research facility suddenly find themselves besieged by a hive of super-intelligent ants.

Phase IV was directed by Saul Bass. Yes, THAT Saul Bass. For those not up on their film history, Bass spent the better part of his career working with many great directors, including Alfred Hitchcock. You know those unique title sequences that appear in a lot of Hitchcock’s movies? Well, Saul Bass designed those. And you know the iconic shower scene in Psycho? It was Bass who envisioned the way that played out. The man had an eye for cinema the way few do. Phase IV lives up to those expectations by serving up a visual treat. It is stunning, including lots of macro photography on the film’s real stars – the ants. There is a LOT of this stuff, but strangely it never feels like you are watching a nature documentary. This could likely be due to the accompanying score that ominously permeates the piece.

Back up, gentlemen. Back the fuck up.

Apart from the great cinematography though, the film is fairly light in every other aspect. The story is pretty rudimentary and plods along at points. Again, is often the case when revisiting old movies, I was surprised by how much I’d forgotten. I'd held onto mere pieces really, but the ending was still puzzling. The film stars instantly recognizable character actor Murphy and the stunning Lynne Frederick, who coincidentally also starred in my last Trash Palace flick Schizo. Frederick doesn’t have much to do in Phase IV, except walk around in a daze, but dayam, she is fine. It’s really too bad what happened to her in real life. If Phase IV wasn’t so adeptly shot, it may have been a loss, but I was completely hypnotized (which could also be because I was in the front row – about eight feet from the screen – this time) for its duration. What another great trip down memory lane!

Trash Palace also announced its Spring/Summer lineup! There are some good ones coming up. 13 Frightened Girls! Smashup On Interstate 5! Scream and Scream Again! Silent Partner! Oh boy, things are looking up.

They're Creeping Up On You

I’m heading off to Trash Palace again this Friday to take in a flick I haven’t seen in a dog’s age. Stacey Case and his partners in crime are screening the 1974 killer-ant movie Phase IV. While mulling over a theme for this week’s Coverbox Wednesday, it occurred to me just how many horror films have creepy crawlies in them. I guess it shouldn’t be surprising. When surveys are done about phobias, insects, arachnids and snakes are always at or near the top. It’s a logical fear. They outnumber us ten thousand to one (if not more), so we should bloody well PRAY there isn’t an uprising. Anyway, on with the show.

Shatner vs. killer tarantulas = Cinematic gold!

Then there are the titles that just had certain scenes with things with more than two legs. They remain with me for all time.

Helen Shaver should have really got that thing checked out.

You know what I’m talking about.

Sharon Stone has a paralyzing encounter with a spider.

A dark cellar and a lot of beetles. You figure it out.

“I have a message for you, and I don’t think you are going to like it!”

Don't Kill The messenger VII

I can't talk too much this morning, I have much Killzone 2 to play.

Boob-tastic.

A trailer for a short film that is playing at SXSW surfaced on the tubes this week.



Well, THAT just happened.

Any Way You Splice It.

Vincenzo Natali's (Cube, Nothing) new film Splice is set to release later this year (Midnight Madness perhaps???) and some new stills dropped on Bloody Disgusting a few days ago.

I was interested in seeing this gene-manipulation fable anyway because I like Natali's work and I went to high school with one of the film's stars (Brandon McGibbon), but after these pics, I am really amped up. Talk about DARK shit! That second one kind of reminds me of the vampire design in 30 Days Of Night... and also that infamous Playstation commercial by Chris Cunningham.

YouTube Is A Strange Place.

Have you ever just randomly watched videos on YouTube? There is some crazy shit out there. Things can get even more out there, if you start clicking on related videos. It's like following the yellow brick road... if it were paved with souls and wasted time and led to hell. Take this path for example.

Exhibit A? This really creepy commercial for Orville Redenbacher.



WTF thought this was a good idea? It would be like digging up Walt Disney - sorry, UNFREEZING Walt Disney - to shlep their newest picture. Since when do zombies make good spokespeople? So, then I saw a stange sight on the right column, clicked on it and came up with this Exhibit B.



Does this clip really need to be almost two minutes long? Creeeeeeeepy. But not as creepy as Exbihit C.



All I can say is thank God it's only four seconds. I wonder if Chris Cunningham has seen that? And last, but certainly not least is Exhibit D.



I have so many questions for this dude. First of all, WHY???!!! And second, how did you figure out you could do that? I had to get off the YouTube train there for the sake of my sanity. Well, that and it was five o' clock and time to go home.

That's all for this week. Have a great Sunday.

Look Ma, No Wires!

I adore the 2004 French actioner District 13 and since its sequel is hopefully coming to our shores later this year, it is this month’s Non-Horror selection.

In 2010, the Parisian slum of District 13 has been walled in and left to fend for itself. When its inhabitants steal a bomb, the French government dispatch top cop Damien Tomaso (Cyril Raffaelli) to retrieve it. With reluctant guide and ex-resident Leito (David Belle) at his side, they have less than twenty-four hours before the bomb is set to explode.

Seemingly a backlash to the mainstream adoption of wire-fu in films like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and The Matrix trilogy, down-and dirty martial arts flicks were set to make a comeback. Shortly after The Transporter and the emergence of Muay Thai sensation Tony Jaa (Ong Bak: Thai Warrior), District 13 burst onto the scene in 2004. At first glance, it may look like a throwaway actioner, but I can assure you it’s way more than that. The parkour-infused action in this is spectacular. I mean, take a look for yourself.


Although I can find no confirmation of this, it’s a pretty safe bet that the dazzling construction site chase at the beginning of 2006’s James Bond reboot Casino Royale was inspired by the above sequence. In addition to the incredible action bits, the chemistry between stars Belle – who is credited with basically inventing parkour as it is known today – and Raffaelli is great, as well. If you think you recognize the latter, it is because he also appeared in the 2001 Jet Li vehicle Kiss Of The Dragon and as the bothersome adversary of John McClane, Rand in Die Hard 4. If you add in actress Danny Verissimo, as Leito’s fiery sister Lola, you have yourself one hell of a team. I LOVE this chick and wish she were in more stuff. Like a lot of the action films Luc Besson (The Fifth Element, Leon) has produced, District 13 is a high-energy affair with little story, but that was never an issue for me. This is a helluva fun time with awe-inspiring feats of strength and agility. A lot of people just remember it for the clip above, but watching it again recently I was reminded of the half dozen other equally awesome set pieces.

If you are at all into martial arts flicks, I can’t imagine you having not seen this one already, but if you haven’t, it’s time to do yourself a favour and track it down.

Shiver Me Timbers.

The subject of this installment of On The Shelf is the new Spanish horror Eskalofrío aka Shiver, which Zip.ca finally decided to send me after what seemed like eons.

Xeroderma afflicted Santi (Junio Valverde) and his mother move to a remote Spanish valley town to in order to better shield him from the sun. Soon after his arrival, people start turning up ripped to shreds. Is Santi responsible for these grisly murders, or is there something more sinister out there in the woods?

There is so much to like about Shiver. I thought the first act was absolutely stellar. We are introduced to a character with a condition that is rarely explored in film (2001’s The Others – another Spanish production coincidentally - is the only other example I can think of) and then weird things start happening around him. The setup and editing is so skillfully done, it had me on the edge of my seat. A great deal of Shiver seemed so fresh to me. I mean, there are some contrivances – night vision makes a brief appearance – but it always seems to bounce back quickly. Shiver is also strange in that it felt like three seperate movies. I’m not sure if this was intentional, but it seemed like the film shifted focus a few times.

ummm... RUN?

Unfortunately, this brilliant setup proved to be somewhat anti-climactic when the antagonist was revealed. Director Isidro Ortiz does so many clever things to ratchet up the fear, but I could never shake the simple fact of what I was actually looking at. It was a fundamental thing that really prevented me from lifting this movie from good to great. It’s a call that everyone will have to make when they experience it, but it left me wanting. Shiver is a solid film that has several tense moments and is gorgeous to look at. It is also well acted, although Valverde (who we first saw in 2001's The Devil's Backbone as a boy also named Santi) does get a little too worked up at times. I also want to make special mention of the phenomenal sound mixing. What is it about forests that lends itself to surround sound? I remember the climactic scene in Ils (aka Them) also had my muscles tensed just like this one did. I’m not surprised the producers of Pan’s Labyrinth and The Orphanage got behind this production. There is a darkly fantastical quality to Shiver that falls right in with those sensibilities. If you are a fan of those aforementioned titles, then I would say that Shiver is required viewing.

The Lost Reviews

I have a little announcement today. As I’ve mentioned before, from 2001 to 2007 I was contributing to a movie website called DVDWolf.com.

Most of the reviews I submitted were posted on the site, but every once in a while - and unfortunately this became the norm as the years went by - one would disappear in the Internet ether after I sent it. The webmaster Rob Paul and I had a good relationship and I think the lack of activity on the site had to do with him moving onto other things more than anything else. Much later, after I had created THS, I wanted to link to one of my old reviews on DVDWolf and found it wasn’t there. ‘That’s odd’ I thought. ‘I KNOW I wrote a piece on that.’ It was then I remembered about all those floating reviews. After some investigation, I found there was a sizable number that shared this fate. So, instead of just having them waste away on my hard drive, I figured I would post them here in their own special section called...

Feel free to check them out by going here.

Alma Is Coming... And She Is Pissed!

I got my hands on F.E.A.R.2: Project Origin recently and played the hell out of it all last week.

F.E.A.R.2 is a big bag o’ fun. After my ultimately disappointing experience with Resistance 2, F2 reminded me of what I love about first-person-shooters. It is a wonderfully designed game with mad helpings of stuff that goes boom. The two things that stand out right away are the weaponry and the artificial intelligence. The weapons themselves are pretty standard, but it is the weight of them that is instantly apparent and even more enhanced by the Dualshock functionality. And what is it about bullet time that never gets old? I must have cut down hundreds of replica soldiers in slow motion and every time was as fulfilling as the first. I didn’t get into Fallout 3 because all the video footage I’d seen was basically “I see enemy/stop time/95% headshot/cut scene of head exploding/rinse and repeat” which made me think ‘wouldn’t that get boring?’ After my experience with F2, the answer is clearly no. The addition of the drivable ‘mechs’ was a stroke of genius. You can literally SHRED through waves of enemies with one of these things. I would have a played a whole game of that! F2 also builds on the already impressive AI from the first game to make it something truly remarkable. Enemies are constantly moving, interacting with their environment and actually work as a squad to flank and flush you out of hiding.


And F2 doesn’t skimp on the scares. There are plenty to be had and they know what buttons to push. In addition to the ubiquitous Alma, you encounter several other supernatural baddies, as well. A highlight is when your flashlight stops working inside an abandoned school filled with swiftly moving spirits that are basically just wisps of smoke with angry eyes. Let’s just say the combat shotgun was my best friend during that level. One thing that surprised me was the kinship I felt for my squad. I’m not sure how to quantify this. It’s not like there was a lot time spent getting to know them, but for some reason I actually felt like part of a team. Maybe it was the realistic character models or constant communication (or both) that contributed to that.


The story is pretty convoluted, but I did like how it was conveyed throughout the campaign. Instead of the voicemail messaging of the original game, you collect pieces of Intel scattered throughout the levels. The more you find the more the craziness around you starts to make some kind of sense. I think the only thing I was unhappy with – apart from the glitchy tacked-on multiplayer that should be avoided at all costs – was the ending, or rather the lack of one. It was so open-ended I felt like this game should have been called F.E.A.R.2 Vol. 1. Although, I can’t complain too much as this just means there is more to look forward to.

F.E.A.R.2: Project Origin is an excellent single player experience that is definitely worth a rent. It doesn’t reinvent the wheel, but it fully delivers on everything I want in a FPS.