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Tuesday, March 28, 2023

Horror Movie Guide: Bigfoot

The next entry in the Guide was Robert R. Slatzer's 1970 movie Bigfoot. I remember the coverbox from my video store, but it wasn't something I would have ever considered watching. To be honest, Slatzer's other film Hellcats sounds like more my speed. But I said I'd watch every movie in the Horror Movie Guide so here we are.

When a tribe of Sasquatches kidnap a few scantily clad ladies (Joi Lansing & Judith Jordan) a biker gang, some hunters and a swindling salesman (John Carradine) looking to cash in on the legend head into the mountains in pursuit.

So I am assuming this movie was the winner of the race to make a Bigfoot film, that famous “actual” footage only having appeared three years earlier. It shows. Bigfoot might be the biggest dud I've seen in the Guide so far. I mean, I wasn't expecting much, but this movie is pretty threadbare. I'd say it's at least fourty-per cent characters walking through the forest, in amongst women screaming and sasquatch grunting. At least there were some banging guitar tracks courtesy of illustrious musician Richard Podolor over all these montages.

At first I had hope because the cast listed at the hop was like thirty characters. I thought perhaps it might be a bodycount slasher, but with a Bigfoot? I was quickly assuaged of that by remembering that beyond H.G Lewis, that genre was yet to be a thing in 1970. This was more like some anemic drive-in biker movie with some creatures in it. But, it's not even drive-in material because nothing really happens. No one dies, threre's no gore as only as much skin as they thought they could get away with.

Joi & Judith; a few reasons to watch.

I think there was one cool scene where one of the Bigfeet(?) fights a bear. At least I think he did, it was kind of just two brown blobs thrashing around in a sea of night. I bet they spent half their budget on that bear and you can't even see it.

Thankfully, John Carradine does what John Carradine does. He spices up his sub-standard material, actually doing more than the walk-ons I often see him play. And for a dude who was in his sixties, he's pretty spry. I am assuming this show didn't have money for stunt doubles so I wager that was him climbing all those hills. He even gets to deliver the King Kong-esque groaners at the end.

Bigfoot is far from great - and certainly no Yeti: Giant of the 21st Century - and the Guide would seem to agree.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Captured On Tape!

On Thursday, Toronto After Dark screened a pair of new found footage flicks. The first was Bobcat Goldthwait's Willow Creek.

Kelly & Jim (Alexie Gilmore & Bryce Johnson) venture into the woods near Willow Creek, California in search of the legendary Bigfoot.

For a guy with a predominantly comedic background, I think Goldthwait took a pretty good stab at the horror genre here. He kept things very simple, using The Blair Witch Project and the films of Joe Swanberg as his two main inspirations. During the Q&A, Goldthwait mentioned that he originally wanted to do a Christopher Guest-style comedy with the Bigfoot legend, but after visiting Willow Creek and mixing with the locals, he felt that taking the piss out of them would be disingenuous.

Speaking of the town, I think the biggest surprise for me was that it was an actual place. I was aware of the Patterson-Gimlin footage, but not that the area where it was filmed had now become a tourist attraction. In terms of communities that have made an urban legend a legitimate source of income, Willow Creek ranks up there with Roswell, New Mexico. This works in the movie's favour as it makes the setup fairly fascinating to watch, especially since it is perhaps a little longer than it needed to be.

Bryce Johnson & Alexie Gilmore in Willow Creek.

So, once into the meat of the picture, there were one or two legitimately creepy scenes, the most significant being a prolonged night sequence inside a tent. Goldthwait, again using the Blair Witch template, basically put his actors in a situation and fucked with them at night. I have to say the results were pretty organic. Gilmore & Johnson had good chemistry and considering most of the movie is just them, their relationship felt pretty natural. The conclusion of Willow Creek was fairly logical, even if I did feel it lacked the exclamation point that would've pushed it from the realm of good to great.

Director Bobcat Goldthwait with a special guest.

Over the years, there have been so few genuinely good Bigfoot flicks, but this one was pretty solid. It delved into the lore, and delivered some prolonged tension. It was almost as if this subgenre needed an outsider to come in to do it properly.

The second of the pair that night was a film called The Banshee Chapter.

A journalist (Katia Winter) investigating the mysterious disappearance of an old friend discovers it may be linked to a government conspiracy involving an experimental drug and radio transmissions of unknown origin.

I knew next to nothing about this film going in, but the subject matter certainly had me intrigued. A friend of mine had turned me onto the whole “number stations” phenomena about a year ago, and my only knowledge of MK Ultra was that it served as the inspiration for Stephen King's novel, Firestarter. In the end, I was almost shocked by how much I enjoyed it.

There were some really effective set pieces in this movie. While it is true the core of The Banshee Chapter is basically an elaborate parade of jump scares, they are really well executed ones. It is hard to keep an audience on edge constantly, but I think the audience was caught a little off guard by how unsettling it was. There were a few areas where director Blair Erickson was able to take things to the next level. The addition of the Lovecraftian angle was a welcome decision, and it was also a very smart choice to use a mix of found footage and conventional narrative. By using the former for just the flashback sequences, it cut out the usual “why are they still filming?” distractions that are usually associated with the format.

So many Goddamn creepy stills, it was hard to choose just one.

As one would expect, sound plays a huge part in The Banshee Chapter. The “transmissions” are very creepy and perhaps most unsettling is that all of them were taken from existing number station recordings. I'd say the real highlight of the film though, is Ted Levine who plays an eccentric Hunter S. Thompson type character named Thomas Blackburn. I feel Levine is a very underutilized character actor it was nice to see him given free reign here. It was delight to watch and added some much needed comic relief to the pervasive doom and gloom of the picture.

Katia Winter & Ted Levine in The Banshee Chapter.

The market has been flooded with this type of film over the past few years, but The Banshee Chapter is probably one of the strongest I've seen. I imagine this is in no small due to the fact that a lot of it is based on fact and not manufactured.

Monday, March 4, 2024

Horror Movie Guide: Bog

Next up in the Guide was Don Keeslar's 1978 movie Bog. I had no previous knowledge of this movie, but wagered I knew what to expect, as everything by appearance screamed Z-grade. But hey, maybe I'd be lucky and get something orbiting the oeuvre of Don Dohler.

An aquatic prehistoric beast is awoken by fisherman using dynamite and starts to pick off the townsfolk.

Sadly, Bog was a bore. It kind of plays like a PG version of Humanoids From The Deep, where the beast is killing dudes and using the ladies to lay its eggs. Although, that is merely heresay, as absolutely none of it is onscreen. You get the ol' zoom-in-to-screaming-face and cut to red time and time again.

This movie has many similarities to Bigfoot, a film from the Guide I watched about this time last year. It's a lot of people talking and walking, is largely bloodless and has one recognizable character actor keeping things mildly interesting - in Bog's case, Aldo Ray. They both also have a pleasing theme song, as well.

Aldo Ray as Sheriff Rydholm in Bog.

You do at least get more shots of the creature, even if it does look like it came from the set of Pertwee-era Dr. Who. I'll also give credit to Gloria DeHaven who I never clued in to that in addition to playing the scientist, was also the forest hag, Adrianna. I also have a question - this movie was shot by Wings. Like Paul McCartney's band Wings??? I assume that can't be true otherwise the end credits would've spooled out to Live & Let Die...

In Bigfoot's defense, it had a few buxom ladies in swimsuits. Bog gives us a couple of harpies off the hop that I couldn't wait to get slimed. It also featured the most unappealing middle-aged make-out scene this side of Nightbeast.

Yes, my reaction to this scene too.

Overall, I give the edge to Bog, but they are both pretty joyless affairs. The Guide would seem to agree with me, although they make it sound way more extreme a movie than it actually is. Hell of a font though!

Friday, August 23, 2024

What the F*ck Is a Nutria?

With this week's tape off the pile, we continue our parade of covers featuring people (or beings in this case) looking through windows. I do remember 1985's Terror in the Swamp from my video store, but it seemed too bargain basement at the time to give it a go. Well, better late than never!

An experiment gone wrong escapes in a Louisiana swamp and starts preying on the nearby townsfolk.

When the cast list came up for Terror in the Swamp (or T.I.T.S. for short), I wondered if this was thinly disguised porno. I mean with names like Chuck Bush, Chuck Long and Claudia Wood, what the hell am I supposed to think? But no sir, this is just your average Bigfoot-but-not-a-Bigfoot-in-the-Bayou movie.

I have to admit I was a little confused because the word Nutria kept being said with drinking game-like frequency that I had to look it up. I'm from the Great White North, we have beavers here. I guess the critter in question was the swamp rat I had the displeasure of seeing annihilated by a hunter's shotgun at the hop. He got his though, don't you worry.

So, as far as I can hack it, this fur company paid some scientist to breed bigger nutrias in order to make more fur, but it mutated in to a... NUTRAMAN! This was apparently the original title, but the filmmakers were like, “what the fuck is that? People are gonna think it's about a soft drink, or maybe that Hazelnut spread that looks like diarrhea.” And rightly so. I'm just trying to wrap my head about these fur conglomerates. Aren't there like a million other animals with more lucrative pelts than mid-sized rodents?

On the surface, this looks and feels like a Z-grade dollar-fifty production, but as it went along, I noticed a few things. First, the cast balloons as it goes on. A single ranger turns into an entire police force AND a team of Green Berets. A guy who could be Hillbilly Jim wrangles his crew, as well as dozens of gun-toting poachers wanting to collect the bounty for Nutraman's head. That's not even counting the scientists, who delightfully get offed by Crazy Sally (who I like to think is related to Mama from Friday Part 5).

Claudia Wood as Crazy Sally in Terror in the Swamp.

Second, in the third act, there are all kinds of boats, planes and helicopters flying everywhere. Like, those aren't cheap, right? Plus, the characters are often knee deep in marsh, which means the CREW are also knee deep in marsh. I would imagine that slowed things down. Then, they even pull out a bazooka to potentially take down our beast Grizzly style!

Terror In The Swamp is objectively shit, making Frogs look like Jurassic Park, but I have to commend the ambition of the last third, even it doesn't really ever give you a good look at its monster. I just hope Frank (Billy Holliday) was able to take his lady to the Saints game on Sunday.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Little Terrors 15

Last week, I attended the latest incarnation of Unstable Ground's monthly short film showcase, Little Terrors.

As always, it was a strong programme. Apart from the usual contigent of shorts previously screened at Toronto After Dark last October – including the Christine-inspired Vicki, Game from Nova Scotia, and my buddy Darryl Shaw's weird-ass effort, Garlic Bread Man vs Superbo Lasagna Man – there were several premieres, as well.

I liked the wonderfully simple and analogue nature of Richard Karpala's DeadBox, even if it was clear to me about halfway through where it was going to end up. Hey, better to do that in a short, rather than a ninety-minute feature, right?

The British short Death Scenes from Joel Morgan packed a lot into its seven-minute running time, with its cool little self contained mystery and solid payoff. Check it out below

EagleWalk was one of the few over twenty-minute that actually justifies its running time. When it was finished, I felt like I'd watched a full length creature feature, with all the extraneous stuff taken out. I was also quite refreshing to see someone tackle Bigfoot, as you don't really see that much these days. You can check out the entire short below.

My favourite short of the night was J Feeney's Killer Kart. Ever since I saw Intruder in my teens, I've always found supermarkets such interesting settings for horror flicks. I found the caliber of acting here above par, especially considering this was film was done while Feeney was in film school. He's definitely a talent I'll be keeping my eye on. From the trailer below, you can see where his influences lie.

Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Short of the Week #29: Limbo

Alas, I am back from Fantasia now, but more on that later. For now I wanted to post a short film that played there in 2016, Will Blank's Limbo.

It is of significance because Sam Elliot was actually at the fest this year representing The Man Who Killed Hitler and then The Bigfoot.

The one, the only Sam Elliot.
Photo courtesy of King-Wei Chu.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

We're Here To Help.

My good friend Serena Whitney over at horrormovies.ca posted a great article earlier this week about avoiding terrible straight-to-DVD (or STD’s as she calls them :P) horror titles. I too, have fallen victim to many a video atrocity and I thought I might share a few of them here. Some of these are several years old and are probably lying in a landfill somewhere by now, but just in case… Be warned of these painful duds.

A Crack In The Floor – Serena is right, this title is bottom of the barrel. I don’t know what’s worse, Tracy Scoggins’ opening rape scene, Gary Busey’s cameo speech about fucking chickens or AC Slater being cast as the movie’s hero.

The Item – Don’t let the Toronto Film Festival entry marker fool you, this is one of the most incoherently fucked up messes ever – and not in a good way. Leave this item at the checkout counter.

S.I.C.K. – In a movie, whenever one of the characters utters a line like “that’s some fucked up shit right there”; you know you are in for a stinker. That, and the cast spends HALF the running time aimlessly wandering around a forest. By the way, the acronym stands for Serial Insane Clown Killer. I knew this going in, so I guess I have to take the blame on this one.

Green River Killer – or ANYTHING by Ulli Lommel for that matter. This guy makes Uwe Boll look like Orson Welles. At least Dr. Boll’s movies are entertainingly bad. Lommel is the go-to guy when it comes to making STD serial killer flicks it seems, having vomited forth other titles like BTK and Zodiac Killer. Green River Killer is the only one I’ve had the misfortune of sitting through though.

Death Tunnel – This epileptically edited effort is a total train wreck. Not even the great location and the bevy of beauties can save it. This is one of those titles that takes a plausibly good idea and runs it into the ground by borrowing everything else from better films.

However, on the other side of things, there are – believe it or not – good STD’s out there. Here are a few that I found worth my time.

Abominable – This is an under seen gem in my opinion. It is basically Rear Window meets Bigfoot and it works really well. Though, when you’re using classic Hitchcock formula it is pretty hard to fuck up (even last year’s PG-13 Disturbia was surprisingly solid). Plus, Abominable is the triumphant return of Matt McCoy.

Open Water 2: Adrift – Originally just titled Adrift, Lion’s Gate slapped the OW2 on there for product recognition. It was not needed, as this has nothing to do with the 2003 film. I think Adrift stands on its own merits and is a worthwhile watch.

Brutal – Unfortunately marketed to look like a Hostel clone, this little ditty is actually about a serial killer in a small town. I’m not going to sugarcoat it; it’s a tad rough around the edges at times, but hey! Where else are you going to see Michael Berryman play... a good guy?!

So, that’s my contribution to the cause. Hopefully, Serena and I have made the STD minefield of your local video store a little less treacherous for all you horrorphiles out there.

Wednesday, August 1, 2001

Horror Movie Guide: Index

This is a database of the movies I have posted about from the Horror Movie Guide, a tome from my childhood that I also used a checklist. At the beginning of 2023, I decided I would go through all the unviewed titles alphabetically. Here's what I have done so far...

Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)

Abbott & Costello Meet Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde (1953)

Alison's Birthday (1981)

And Now The Screaming Starts (1973)

The Ape (1940)

The Ape Man (1943)

The Attic (1980)

Bedlam (1946)

Before I Hang (1940)

The Best of Sex and Violence (1981)

Beyond Evil (1980)

Beyond the Door (1974)